#but my rough drafts are So Awful that I’m like no I can’t make someone do this shit ona regular basis

[emeraldcreeper]

I kind of love how my therapist was like ya that living situation was Really Really Really bad for your mental and physical health, you may be mildly scarred from that it seems because holy shit from what you’ve said it was godawful for you in a polite way and said effectively that living situation was not great for you it seems, you can enjoy being out of it before you worry about the everything else

[tojiscumdumpster]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။ toji fushiguro x his favorite customer (revision)

✧ summary toji has a little soft spot for his favorite customer that he can't get enough of.

✧ content warnings reader is a black woman who uses she/her pronouns. chubby!reader and inexperienced!reader. rich girl in her midtwenties, very needy! usage of profanity, standing missionary, oral - m!receiving, doggy style, mixture of praise and degradation kink, breeding kink, unprotected, creampie and squirting, terms of endearment ─ pretty girl, princess, baby, baby girl, etc. softdom!toji with rough, passionate, and filthy intercourse. told in first POV ─ toji's. i got reader calling toji TJ, and i think that’s so cute pls.

✧ author's note happy birthday to my baby daddy toji fushiguro! we've been going strong now for years. just a little something something to celebrate him. this fic has been in the drafts since December. talk about black people time, old sksk. also, if you already seen the original of this fic on tumblr, it's mine lol. this is just a revision, so don't go around saying i copied someone! my writing has changed so i wanted to redo this and add some adjustments. i hope y'all enjoy. support me by reblogging, liking, and commenting your thoughts. ♡ AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS AND/OR MINORS - DO NOT INTERACT.

 

 When it comes to women I fuck, I treat them the same because at the end of the day, they pay me good money to stuff their pussy with cock. 

 Don’t really care if they're married either. I usually get the old, desperate broads that aren’t getting any attention from their husbands at home, so it’s my job to make them feel good for the night. 

 I don’t do favorites. 

 I damn sure don’t give discounts. 

 And I definitely don’t get attached. But the moment I met Y/N that all changed. 

 My favorite customer. 

 Never did I expect a younger woman to pay me to get fucked, especially when she looks that good. 

 I’m almost positive she has a line filled with fuckers that’s desperately wanting to know what this tight, wet pussy feels like, yet here I am, living their fantasy. 

 I fucked Y/N once. 

 Then, twice. 

 Then, again.

 And again.

 And again…

 If I didn’t know any better, I’m fucking obsessed with her. Can’t even say it’s just for the money she’s paying me. Probably the best pussy I ever had.

 No. 

 It is. 

 So fucking warm, and she takes dick well, too. I usually give only an hour or two to my customers, but for Y/N? I reserved the whole night to relish her pussy. 

 The perfect fuck to end my day. 

 Those soft, sweet-sounding moans that slipped through her full brown and pink lips, having my previous cum shot staining them had me running wild. 

 But it seems like I’m not the only one who’s sex drunk. 

 Cock is all on Y/N’s mind right now. Whimpering and crying how big I am and thanking me for giving her dick. Tears pricks those chestnut-colored hues and I’m in fucking awe. She’s so damn pretty. 

 “You know how gorgeous you look taking cock like this? Being a good fucking slut for me, princess?” I ask, being met with a nod and her moaning in response. 

 Y/N’s pussy talks to me. Wet noises spreading throughout the room while I have my arms hooked under the fold of her knees, fucking her recklessly to push past any intrusion. 

 She’s jumping with me every thrust I make, causing her tits to bounce obnoxiously. I take one of her nipples into my mouth and suck on them like it’s my last dying breath, hearing that sweet whimper. 

 I belong in Y/N’s pussy, and she belongs to me, too, the way she’s gripping my cock and milking me. All of her cream and wetness drips between us and down my balls, and it feels fucking amazing. Every time I experience her velvet walls, I find myself becoming more animalistic, hungry and territorial over someone who should only be seen as a client. 

 But fuck, something in me says I would go batshit crazy if I ever found out she had other motherfuckers experiencing this. 

 Knowing how she looks when sweat coats her beautiful brown skin. How it feels to stretch her out and make her adjust to you. Just thinking about it makes me pound into her deeper and more aggressively. 

 “Toji, baby, yes. This feels so good,” she purrs. “Like that. Keep fucking me like that.”

 I hum. “Yeah? This is what you wanted, right? Paid me to please this good pussy?”

 By all means, Y/N isn’t a virgin, but she told me she doesn’t have much experience and I can tell by how tight she is. 

 Our sounds of pleasure resonate in the air, and I call her my good girl, praising how perfect her pussy is, to be met with her squeezing me and watery brown eyes. 

 “Toji… Toji… Yes. God, yes.”

 “Keep using your words, pretty girl. Tell me how much you love my dick in your pussy,” I ordered softly.

 “I love it so much. It’s so big, baby,” she tells me, slurring her words because of her lips still being on mine. “You’re going to make me cum.”

 I clicked my tongue, shaking my head. “Not yet. Come taste yourself.”

 Without hesitation, Y/N slides down to her knees and starts sucking my dick. I hiss at her swallowing me and the warmth of her mouth. She doesn’t take her time when sucking me off, immediately circling her head and throating me. 

 “Hot fucking mouth made to suck dick, huh, pretty girl?” I firmly grabbed her chin so she could look at me. “Eyes up, sweetheart. Open up your throat for me like a good girl.” 

 Y/N hollows her cheeks and bobs her head fervently on my dick, tightening her lips around me. 

 She sucks dick so fucking good, better than any other woman I’ve been with. And I just know I’m bound to bust quickly if she keeps doing this shit. 

 My hand finds the back of Y/N’s head to grip and I buck my hips deeper into her mouth, ensuring I hit the back of her throat everytime. I’m a fucking mad man when I begin fucking the gorgeous face, especially when she’s looking up at me with those big brown eyes. 

 A spoiled brat, prim and shy, who’s spending daddy’s money to get fucked and folded by an old bastard like me. Think I fucking developed a kink for this type because of Y/N.

 I pumped into her mouth more aggressively until she began choking and gagging on my cock. Drool and precum coating her mouth in the process. 

 Any type of control Y/N tries to take, I push past it because I want to use that pretty little mouth of hers how I want. She needs to get her money’s worth when fucking with me. 

 “Going to fuck my cum deep down that throat of yours, and you’re going to swallow it. Got that?” She nods and I softly tap the side of her face. “That’s it. Keep those lips tight around me.” 

 “Toji, pl—please,” she slurs, causing me to chuckle. 

 “Hm, look at you. Trying so hard to talk to me while sucking my dick. It’s cute.” I slow down my quick thrusts, but replace them with more fervent ones, pushing me and her head down until my cock outlines her throat. 

 My balls grow heavy and obnoxiously slaps Y/N’s chin, a clear indication I’m about to fucking cum. 

 Grunting, whining, gasping like a little bitch for air because head like this has a fucker like me sounding like a broken mess. 

 Blood rushes to my groin and I start getting sloppy, feeling my muscles tightening and ache burning between my thighs. I’m close, so fucking close to filling her mouth with my release, then I can finish fucking that fat pussy. 

 Everything about this damn woman is perfect. Her pussy. How she sucks cock. That fucking chubby and curvy body of hers. A pretty face with loaded cash.

 Yeah, she’s definitely mine after tonight. And I’m talking about anything lovey dovey. Meaning if I catch her being a slut like this to anyone else, I’d kill that fucker. 

 No hesitation. I-

 “Y/N, fuck!” I grunt while cumming in her mouth. This load is fucking heavy, but she’s trying her best to swallow every drop. 

 I groan at the sight of Y/N touching her tits and palming her pussy, knowing how much she’s turned on, too. It’s like the vibrations of her moans pulls more cum out my fucking dick.

 A mess I made on her face, but the joyful lust I see in her eyes tells me she doesn’t give a damn. 

 Good, because I’m not finished with her. 

 “All fours on the bed. Now,” I demanded. “Still gotta fill up your pussy.”

 Perfection is what I think when I see Y/N from behind, arched back, ass in the air and pussy dripping, ready for me to fuck. 

 I force an arch in her back and plunge my cock in her tight little pussy with one deep stroke. Y/N gasps in the air and I take the opportunity to pull her up by the throat and start pounding her cunt. 

 Why the fuck is she so goddamn wet? She takes cock well, bud shit, I abruptly slip out each and every thrust. 

 “Keep me inside that pussy, baby girl. Stop fucking letting go,” I gritted in her ear. She reaches behind her to hold my dick and push back into me with a tighter grip. “Hm, just like that. So fucking good to me, aren’t you?”

 “I need more dick, TJ. Fuck me harder, baby. I can take you,” she moans. 

 Begging for cock she’s already paying for… Shit, I get a kick out of how pathetically sexy she sounds. 

 I repeatedly slammed into her wet cunt, thrust after thrust, pussy creaming even further than before. If it’s one thing I can listen to for the rest of my life, it’s how Y/N sounds when she’s being fucked. 

 My name drips perfectly from her lips.

 Our skin smacking fills the air in the room along my hand striking her ass until I guarantee it’ll bruise in the morning. 

 “Look at this fat ass moving when I pound into this pussy. Fucking beautiful,” I growled.

 “Toji, please. I… I don’t care how much… I’ll pay more. Just keep fucking me like this.”

 I chuckle. “Atta girl.”

 I see why motherfuckers catch feelings when fucking pussy. I almost feel tempted to tell Y/N that I love her while fucking her. She has pussy that’ll make a fucker crazy… Possessive… Jealous.

 I applied more pressure to Y/N’s throat and pulled her against my chest. “You know who this pussy belongs to. Right, princess?”

 “God, yes, Toji. You… it belongs to you.” Her voice comes off as a faint cry and I know she’s on the verge of cumming. Especially with how her pussy is pulsating around me. 

 “Mhm, that’s right. Dreamed of my fucking dick pounding this tight little cunt, now I have you mindfucked. Huh?” I pinch her nipples with my free hand and increase my thrusts. “You’re about to come for me. Aren’t you, Y/N? I know you are. I can feel it. You should see the mess your slutty pussy is making between us.”

 “Fuck, I didn’t mean to, baby. It’s just… you feel good. So fucking good,” she whimpers, bouncing her ass back into me to meet with my thrusts. 

 “Maybe I should have you clean it with your mouth. Hm?”

 I release Y/N’s throat to shove her face into the bed and deepen her arch more than before. My single hand returns to her hips to grip, pulling her round ass back on my cock to kiss her center. 

 Can’t get over how wet—how tight and warm this fucking pussy is. The harder I fuck her, the louder her pussy gets and I grunt, curse underneath my breath at hearing the sound of her muffled moans. 

 I don’t give a fuck if one of us catches feelings after this. Actually, I want her to. I want Y/N to be dick hungry only for me. 

 I want her pussy to smell like I’m the only fucker that’s been running through her. I’m even fucking tempted to breed this pussy just so she’s mine.

 Why the fuck would I want to have sex with any other women after knowing what Y/N feels like? 

 “You take cock like a fucking pro. Look at you gripping me. Look at how this pussy is mine.”

 She spreads her ass cheeks to feel every inch of my dick. “Fuck me, Toji. Harder. Fuck me harder, I’m about to cum.”

 “Shit, me too, sweetheart. Such a perfect fuck toy. Going to fill you all the way up,” I rasped. “Fuck me back. Keep taking this dick.”

 My thrusts are sloppy. I throw my head back and swear into the air and moan her name. My balls grow heavier and heavier until I fucking but and empty my cum inside her pussy. 

 And she’s right there with me, crying my name and thanking me for giving her toe-curling orgasm. 

 Fucking enjoy hearing my pretty girl thank me for giving her cock. She just looks so damn pretty when she cums, too. 

 Dark brown skin sweating. The sight of her ruined makeup with mascara running down her cheeks. Moans sounding like a broken record. 

 Yeah, she’s a perfect fuck. 

 My favorite customer. 

© 2024 tojiscumdumpster Do NOT copy, translate, plagiarize, repost (sharing links is okay) anywhere. I only upload on tumblr and you will find some of my work in ao3.

[slutforsilverfoxes]

Prejudice & Pride

[A/N: Me: has a terrible interaction with a tech. Me immediately after escaping from said interaction: starts drafting Hotch feat. praise kink bc he Would Not Stand For This 🥺 It’s consequently more fluff than my other kinktober posts, pls indulge me]

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gender neutral reader (praise kink)

🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃🖤

Aaron can’t help the smile that graces his face when he walks in to find his apartment smelling like your newest candle obsession, bought on a whim during a recent excursion to the mall because it sniffs like your cologne. He spots the key he had given you on the hook by the door, the smile on his face widening when he drops his own set of keys beside it. “Honey?” he calls out into the dimly lit space. “We caught a tailwind, so I’m back early.”

“Living room,” you answer, tone void of your usual excitement to have him home with you.

“Hey,” he croons upon entering the living room, noting a half-empty bottle of moscato on the table by the melting candle and your body bundled up on the couch. “Rough day?”

With a sniffle, you part with your wine glass and look up at him with a pout that tugs at his heartstrings. “Fucking shit day. I’m so happy you’re home,” you sigh, reaching your hands up toward him.

Aaron takes the hint, shedding his suit jacket and loosening his tie before lifting you into his arms and settling on the couch with you in his lap. His hands immediately go to work, one softly scratching along your spine, the other carding through your hair.

“Baby,” you whisper, tracing his lips with your index finger before pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I know you found the missing kiddos, but are you okay? Cases with kids are always hard on you.”

“Oh, angel,” he sighs, pausing his soothing patterns to give you an affectionate squeeze. “I’m glad they’re home safe with their parents.”

“You’re so good at what you do, Aaron,” you say, voice wavering with awe and a hint of sadness, if he’s not mistaken. “I’m so, so proud of you.”

He brushes a strand of hair off your forehead before tilting your chin up until your gaze meets his. “Did someone make you feel like you’re not?”

“See?” you ask, bottom lip trembling. “You’re a damn good profiler.”

“Tell me what happened.”

You launch into a blow by blow recounting of your no good, very bad day from only getting to down two sips of your coffee before being pulled into a case to working with a technician who made you feel downright incompetent. “-and the thing is, the thing is, I was alone in the OR with my patient- anesthetized okay?”

“I’m following,” Aaron says with a nod, swiping at the errant tears of frustration running down your heated cheeks.

“So clearly I know what I’m doing, right?”

“Of course you do,” he’s quick to affirm, lips tugging into a frown at the doubt blanketing your words.

“And he was fine. Stable throughout, no issues in recovery or anything. And she was kind of nice to me afterwards? I don’t know,” you sigh, voice dropping low while you distract yourself playing with his tie. “I just felt really stupid about every little decision I made. Maybe I’m not cut out for this field.”

“Excuse me?”

You balk at the subtle growl in Aaron’s voice, looking up at him meekly. “Aar, I-”

“I know you didn’t work your ass off to get into this program, spend sleepless days and nights studying, and rack up hours upon hours of experience at the hospital just to let one technician’s shitty attitude dissuade you from following your dreams.”

Overcome with emotion, tears pool in your eyes again and you shake your head at his much needed tough love.

“This-” He cups your face in his large hands before continuing, “This is your passion, baby. You were meant to do this, to help and heal those who need it most. And you are not going to let others’ bitterness stand in your way. Am I clear?”

Managing to muster up a smile, you nod and respond, “Clear, Unit Chief Hotchner, sir.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know you are. You have your Hotch frown on,” you tease, swiping your thumb across his downturned bottom lip.

His frown deepens at your playful ribbing, and he rises abruptly so that you’re forced to wrap your legs around his waist and cling to him while he strides purposefully down the hallway towards the master bedroom. “You don’t understand how serious I am about this,” he accuses, and you dot his neck with kisses while assuring, “No, no, I definitely do, and I appreciate you for it.”

“But your confidence is still shaken,” he intuits, and he can feel the sigh that rattles through you in response. “Well that simply won’t do, sweetheart.”

__________

“Say it,” Aaron growls out, a bead of sweat dripping from his forehead onto your flushed chest when his hips meet yours again.

You let out a pitiful moan, raking your nails down his back at the overwhelming sensation of fullness.

“Say. It.” He repeats the command, each word punctuated with a harsh thrust that has you seeing stars.

“I’m smart,” you rasp out, thighs quaking in their elevated position. Aaron has you nearly folded in half, knees practically pressed to your chest while he rails you like he can imbue confidence into you with his cock alone.

“And?” he prompts with another gasp-inducing drive of his hips.

“I’m good at what I do?” you offer quietly, somehow succeeding in looking sheepish while he splits you in half.

He pinches your nipple harshly and you cry out, now meeting his fiery gaze with one of your own. “Was that a question or a statement?”

“I’m good at what I do,” you amend, tugging on his hair as he fucks you without abandon.

“That’s it, baby,” he croons, bending down to swipe his lips across yours. You whimper into his mouth, the change in angle somehow helping him drive even deeper into your spent body. He nibbles on your bottom lip before pulling back with a satisfied grin. “You’re brilliant, aren’t you, my little doctor?” Tucking your chin between his thumb and index finger, he moves your head into a nod. “You’re only dumb when you’re drunk on my cock.”

A moan falls past your parted lips at that, and Aaron laughs low in his throat. “Poor thing,” he tuts, “I’m amazed you can string full sentences together right now.”

“Can’t,” you cry in response. “Need you. Need you to fill me up, Daddy, please.”

He takes your ankles in his hands and wraps your legs around his torso, stalling his movements with his hips flush to yours. “You want Daddy to be nice to you?”

Driving your heels into his lower back, you moan, “Oh god, yes.”

“Are you going to be nice to yourself, little one?” Desperate for release, you sniffle and nod diligently. Aaron sucks a bruising kiss into the sensitive skin at the junction of your neck and shoulder and growls out, “Promise?”

“Promise,” you answer immediately, breathless.

“Did so well for me, baby, so well,” he praises, his hand moving between your bodies to expertly take you over the edge, and you cling to him like your life depends on it as fireworks explode behind your closed eyelids. “My good little love. So smart, so beautiful, so perfect.”

[bitletsanddrabbles]

WIP Wednesday: Alex Support Version

Since @alex51324 has been dealing with Obnoxious Crap (TM), I've tried to turn my attention back toward the Island for a bit. I got a bit further on the piece I wanted to work on...then this ambushed me.

It's ironic. When I started "An Armada to Sail On" the last person I thought would have a chapter was...

...okay, Syl, who still doesn't have a chapter. But he was pretty much tied with Gordon. Now, not only does Gordon have a chapter, but of all the chapters my brain has decided to occasionally go 'Hey, you know, we could expand on that' with, it's that one. Go figure.

And so we have the first Island Sandbox bitlet that officially ties in with another piece. It's also the first thing I hand wrote, then typed up. Roughly three days, four and a half pages handwritten, 832 words typed. I'm still counting it as a rough draft because I'm not certain about the ending. I'd planned on making it longer, but this seemed a punchier place to stop...if it's clear what happens immediately after the last line. If not, I can spell it out a bit more. And of course, I've not language checked the characters against the original yet.

Anyway, here is a Thing! Hopefully it gets a chuckle.

-

“Speaking of ‘stepping out’,” Eddy said, his eyes sliding Thomas’s direction. It was Saturday night and the RAMC boys had been gossiping about Theo and one of the newer blokes. “You’ve been spending an awful lot of your free time with Gordon lately. If you aren’t careful, he’ll scare off all of your suitors and you really will die an old maid!”

“Old bachelor, you mean,” Dave scoffed from Eddy’s other side. On the far side of Dave, Rouse rather pointedly focused his attention on his beer. “Or have you decided you don’t care ‘cause no one here’s good enough for our ice prince?”

Peter, sitting on Thomas’s left, frowned. “That was uncalled for.”

“And rather pointless,” Thomas agreed before calmly taking a drink. “After all, I’m already taken.”

Surprise erupted like machine gun fire from the entire group, except for Rouse. “By whom?” Eddy demanded.

Thomas looked at him as if he’d just asked where his own shoes were. “Gordon, who else?”

“What, really?” The other man frowned and squinted at him, clearly trying to figure out if he was taking the piss or not.

“Of course, really,” Thomas scoffed. “You just said you’d noticed.”

“I’d noticed you were spending time together, yeah, but not that you were…you know…” Eddy continued to squint at him a moment, then turned to Rouse. “Oi, Frank! Did you know about this?”

“Of course he did,” Thomas replied, saving the doctor the effort of reminding them all about patient confidentiality. “Gordon and I talked to him about it first thing.”

“Willingly,” Rouse confirmed. “I still can’t believe that part.”

Thomas shrugged and took a drink. “We wanted you to know what was going on, in case rumors started flying around.”

“Fair enough, I suppose.”

“But why him?” Dave demanded, the picture of indignation. His name was on the list of suitors Thomas hadn’t realized he’d had until after the fact. “What does he have that the rest of us don’t, besides a fucking mouth?”

“Yeah, that’s one thing you definitely don’t have, Dave,” Rouse muttered, just loud enough for the whole bar to hear. It earned him a couple of chuckles.

Thomas thought a moment, then shrugged. “None of your business?”

“Not saying a fucking thing against the lad,” Tully chimed in, topping off Thomas’s glass and giving him a carefully measured look, “but it does seem a curious choice.”

Well, if Tully was going to nose in, he supposed he’d better answer, at least if he wanted to keep getting free drinks on Saturday. “If you must know, he figured out the one thing I’d been waiting for someone to do and did it.” Thomas paused for a reaction and to take a drink.

“Namely?” Tully asked once he’d put his glass down.

“He asked,” Thomas informed him in the driest tone he could muster. “In plain English.”

“That’s it?” Eddy gawped at him as if he’d just claimed he was going to fly to the moon.

“But,” Peter protested, gently as always, genuinely perplexed, “other people did that too.”

“To right they did!” Dave scowled. “I know I did!”

“No you didn’t,” Thomas snorted, giving him a dismissive look. “You asked me to the pub and to watch the dart’s tournament. Next thing I knew, it was all over the island that I’d thrown you over for Nigel because I went to the concert with him.” Of course, Thomas hadn’t taken his rumored relationship with Nigel seriously until he’d suddenly cocked that one up too.

“Of course it was!” Dave blustered. “Why wouldn’t you have gone to the concert with me?”

“You don’t even fucking like the concerts, Dave,” Tully reminded him. The looks he was giving Thomas had gone from stern to speculative. “You never go.”

Thomas cheerfully picked up the thread. “And plenty of men who aren’t stepping out have gone to the pub together. Really, if father Tim asks me to come to the pub and I say yes, are you going to accuse our vicar of infidelity?”

“It’s not the same.” Dave insisted.

Thomas rolled his eyes. “If you were that interested, the least you could have done was offered to walk me home from church instead of expecting me to read your mind and know that ‘let’s go to the pub’ meant something more than ‘let’s get a bite’!”

“Richard did that,” Peter pointed out, almost apologetically.

“Yeah, my first week here when nothing felt real yet!”

Peter gave a little grimace and shrug, conceding the point.

Dave harumphed. “Yeah, well, you’ve been here years now. Would’ve thought you’d’ve caught on to how these things are done by now.”

Thomas gave the other man his nastiest smile. “Well, I haven’t.”

Eddy, who was looking between Thomas on his left and Dave on his right like he was watching a tennis match, apparently decided it was in his best interest to play peace keeper. “So, what? Gordon just asked ‘Oi, Thomas, do you want to step out’?”

Thomas watched Dave lift his glass to his lips, waiting for him to take a healthy swig before replying. “Actually, he asked me to marry him.”

[uses-for-fics]

College isn’t forever

College!Anders Holmvik x Reader

(Anders is about 21 and reader is about 19)

You had been up studying a little later than you wanted to. It was still the first week of school but your Criminal Justice professor already wanted you guys to choose a case and study the criminals behavior during interrogations and when they thought they were alone. You were so far only on the third paragraph of your rough draft when you heard knocking on your door. You got up slowly from your desk. Not expecting someone, you grabbed the closest thing to you, that being your pillow from your bed. You opened the door a bit to see your best friend smiling at you. “Anders! You scared me!” You opened the door to let him in.

You and Anders had met during your freshman year in high school. He was your lab partner in chemistry, you had been given the option to take it a tad bit earlier while he was taking it in his junior year. He spent most of his time goofing around with his swim team buddies while you tried to get the labs done. During one of his antics he managed to get some fluids in his eyes, while his friends laughed, you helped him to the eye wash station and stayed with him in the nurse’s office until his parents were able to pick him up. (His father didn’t come for him until 3 hours after school ended.)

He laughed. “I’m sorry, I wanted to see what you were up to.” You shook your head. “I was just writing. This assignment is killing me!” You turned to him and sat on your bed. He sat next to you. “Already? You’ve only been here a week.” You huffed. “I know! Ughh I’m just so burnt out.” He grabbed your hand. You looked up at him and he smiled. “I have an idea. Come with me.” You frowned. “I can’t.” He shook his head. “Come on, it’ll be a nice break.” He got up from your bed still holding your hand. You sighed. “Fine, Where are we going?” He beamed as you got up. “Somewhere come on. I just gotta get a few things from my car first.” You laughed and walked out your dorm room with him, making sure to get your keys. “You’re not going to kidnap me, are you?”

He smirked. “I don’t know, am I?” You shoved him. “Ders! That’s not funny, you know I’m still new here!” He swats your hands away. “I was just joking! Stop assaulting me!” He intertwines one of your hands with his and they lay still between you both. “Look I’m sorry I genuinely mean it, I would never let anything happen to you.” You felt your face get a bit red. “Aw thanks Ders.” You got on your tip toes and gave him a peck on his cheek. You saw him give a big smile but he tried covering it with a cough. You guys got close to his car and he let go of your hand. “Wait here I just need to get a few things.” You nodded and leaned on the Volvo. You heard mumbling coming from his car and a few seconds later, Anders had a few tools and two towels. He locked his car and came up to you. “Got everything?” You smiled. He nodded and reached his hand out to you. You grabbed a hold of his hand and intertwined your fingers again.

“So, how are you liking campus so far?” He slowed his pace to match yours. “I don’t know to be honest, I’ve been so busy trying to unpack and start assignments, I haven’t really had time to look around.” You swung his and your intertwined hands back and forth. “Ahh so this surprise I have is going to be a bit better then.” You smiled. “What are you up to Holmvik?” He shrugged. “I don’t know what you speak of. I just wanted to show my favorite person in the whole world, my favorite place in the whole world.” “What are y—“ right as you were going to ask, you guys had arrived at the school community pool.

“Anders no way.” He lets go of your hand and heads close to the pool. He removes his shirt and sits on the edge, only dipping his legs in. “Come on, it feels fine.” He waves you over. You stay in place, looking around. “Anders are you nuts?!” You whispered-yell. “What if the campus security catches us?” He shook his head. “I’m on the swim team! I’m allowed to be here for practicing or setting up the lanes. You’re totally fine! Remember, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You rocked back and forth on the heels or your feet contemplating whether or not to sit next to him. You could sit there and spend some nice time with Anders. Or, you could back to your dorm and suffer with your essay. You sighed. “Fine, but if we get in trouble, you’re going down mister!” He lifts his hands up. “I’ll take that.” You walk towards him and roll up your pajamas to your knees. He offers his hand as you sit down next to him. Your guys hands are intertwined again as he slightly bumps his shoulder with yours. “Isn’t this nice? Just some peace and quiet near the water? No annoying papers. No loud music. No disrespectful, awful, mean swim team to constantly berate you?” You raise an eyebrow at him. “Anders? Are you ok?”

He looked down at your guys hands. “It’s just, the guys have been talking a bit about my weight and….im a disgusting pig y/n.” He fidgeted with your guys hands a bit. “That’s not true.” You looked at him. His head was still low. “It is though. I’m slowing down when I race. I can feel it, and when I look in the mirror, all I see is chub and my moobs.”

“Moobs?” You quirked a brow. He looked at you. “My man boobs.” He frowned. “Man boobs? Seriously? Dude. I love your body. You have a perfect build and to be honest, I think you can kick anyone’s ass in a race.”

He looked back down. “It’s ok. You’re just saying that cause you’re my friend. It’s ok to be disgusted by this.” Moved his free hand to point at his gut. You rolled your eyes. “Sometimes you’re the biggest idiot I know. I genuinely mean it when I say your body is perfect. You’re not fat. And even if you were, why does it matter? Your body is YOURS! No one else has control of it. I hate how you always say that shit and hate on your body. I would kill to be with you.”

Anders head jerked up. “What?” He looked at you. You chuckled dryly. “What?” He smirked. “You said you’d kill to be with me.” You shook your head. “No I didn’t.” He nodded. “Yes you did.” You shook harder this time. “No. I didn’t! I said ‘I would kill to be you. Not with.”

“Awww you love me.” Anders cheesed. “You’re out of it Holmvik.” You let go of his hand and got up. “No wait-“ Just as he reached out for you, he accidentally grabbed your leg making you fall over into the pool. “ACK- SPLOOSH!” Anders quickly got up and jumped in after you. He grabbed you from under the water. “I’m so sorry!” He laughed. You shivered as you shoved him. “Are you kidding me? These are my favorite pajama pants!” You swung at him, splashing around. He grabbed a hold of your arms and held them down. He leaned in and gave you a kiss, stopping your fidgeting. You sighed and felt him let go of your hands as he tried keeping you guys afloat. He pulled away from you and smiled. “I would kill to be with you too.” You face heated up quickly. “I-I- said be you.” He wrapped his arms around your waist. “Whatever floats your boat.” He goes back to lean in but you pull from him. You trace your fingers on his collar bone. “Why don’t we go wash off this chlorine in the shower room? I’m sure you’re the only swimmer using them right now?” It takes him a second to register what you meant but quickly gets to helping you out of the water and as quickly into the locker room. “Yup! Definitely! And if I’m not, they can wait! Let’s go!” He ran towards the locker room. You shook your head and followed him. You could only imagine how it would be after college. You knew College wasn’t going to be forever but as long as you had Anders, it seemed like it would be perfect.”

[thevoyageurmoteplass-writing]

Rules: Answer the 11 questions of the person who tagged you, make up 11 questions, then tag 11 people to answer them.

1) What’s the greatest feedback you’ve received so far, the one you carry in your heart and it still warms you? (If you haven’t published a piece of work yet, what would you like to hear the most?)

I’m awful at remembering feedback, especially good feedback, however there was somebody who once said that they really liked the main character in my Dystopian Story. She was likened to a character that was really popular, but less annoying, which was something that brought a smile to my face, and made me think perhaps Fox was a good character to others besides me.

2) Is there a trait that is a reappearing one in all your OCs? What is it? Why do you think that is?

I think the key trait they have is curiosity. All of them have a reason to be curious about things. It might be a mystery, or simply an idea that they want to pursue to find out what becomes of it.

3) Have you ever written fanfiction? If yes for which book/movie/series/anime/videogame, if not, if you had a chance to write for something, for which work would your write?

I have previously written fanfiction, but not on this blog.

4) Is there a genre you can’t imagine writing under no circumstances? Why?

I don’t think I could ever write a fully-fledged romance book. As a subplot I think I can do it, but if that was the main focus I don’t think I’d necessarily be able to do it justice. That being said, I’m always up for a challenge, and things might change.

5) Do you snack during writing? How about during reading?

Not really. Mostly because if I’m typing I need both hands, and if I’m handwriting then I usually hold the book still with one hand. As for when reading, I’d hate to get crumbs on the books – especially as I get a lot from the library. And if it’s an e-book, then I just don’t want to accidentally damage it somehow.

6) Do you re-read/edit your story before posting anywhere or hit the button and hope for the best?

I go through phases of editing or not before posting. Sometimes I refuse to even think about posting something until I’ve edited it at least once, and other times I simply post it and hope that it might not be awful.

7) Who is the character closest to you from your own works/series/films/books? Why?

I think, if I had to pick any of them, I’d probably say that Mathias from my Superpowers story is the closest to me, personality wise. We’re both very easily lost in what we’re doing, and try to focus on being nice to others because you have no idea what might be going on in their lives.

8) What is the smallest thing you appreciated in a character, that likely didn’t matter to others?

Handedness. For some reason, if a character is right or left-handed is important to me. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not something that necessarily factors in for reading a lot of the time, but the way things can change for characters based on their handedness is something that I appreciate.

9) Do your wips have a message, or are written simply as a form of reading entertainment (in other words, a story for someone to chill or get lost in a fantasy world and forget all their problems, etc.)?

Whenever I write, I do it for the story to be a form of entertainment rather than anything else. But some of them probably have things in them that could be taken as messages, influenced by the news at the time or things I needed to think about myself. They weren’t necessarily intentional, but the main focus for me is that the stories are entertainment.

10) Do you delete works you don’t like or pile everything?

I pile everything. I try not to delete things, because even if I think it’s rubbish it might inspire me to do something else, or help me build it into something that might be worthwhile.

11) Have you ever written anything based on a dream?

I’ve actually written at least one entire story based on a dream – my Spy Story, in fact. It was a really rough draft of it, but it’s something to build on when I do next think about that story properly again.

[pufflocks]

Ok ok lady kuroo oneeeeee..

Kuroo fucking bottom male y/n in the school bathroom by pressing y/n again a wall and just fucking his brains out

Summary: Skipping with your boyfriend sounds fun. Right ? You were being rather bratty during lunch.. Maybe some discipline in those dirty stalls would whip you up straight. ♡

"-Come on, speak up. You were just saying how you'd much rather be doing something else." -T.K ❣

An: Please excuse errors. I most definitely rushed this out my drafts.

Warning: Degrading • Dacryphilia • Minor Gagging • Minor Slapping • proof read

Cast: Bottom!M!Reader x Tetsurou Kuroo

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

It was lunch time. Or passing time some others call it as for some people would play on their devices or talk to their friends.

That's exactly what you were doing earlier, you decided to drag out the topic of how you think your boyfriend is just so protective in your conversation.

"Sometimes I wanna fuckin' breath-"

That's what you said, no ?

You were sitting next to and telling this to your boyfriends bestfriend, Kenma. He however just gave a light sigh saying something how could he help. Fingers diddling with his switch frantically. He obviously wasn't much help in situations like this, you know, but your mind was side tracked with your boyfriends glare.

'Hm..'

He was eyeing you down word for word as he silently watched you across your guys' table with your friends.

Watching you move shy hair strands from his bestfriends face and giving Kenma tips on his game. Not tha you had any particular idea in the game.

Why are trying so hard to be buddy buddy with him ? If you didn't even interest Kenma in any sexual form or other.

Tetsurou most definitely wouldn't let this just go by easily.

Lev only looked at his friend beside him then back at you in awe.

Yaku on the other hand had his eyes darted in his lap to his phone. No need to be in this conversation.

'Did he actually say that-?' He thought.

The chopsticks in Kuroos hand slipped from his fingertips as he chuckled under his breath. He didn't think you were this fucking down bad to get some dick.

All you really had to do was just ask. How fucking hard could that task be ? Could have easily fuck after school or at one of your guys' house. Gladly.

No doubt you would be coming back to this table with a dazed expression.

"Meet me in the bathroom, bubs." He whispered to you as he got up from his seat his dark aura following him out of the lunch room doors.

Yaku rose his head from his lap as his eyes darted your way, in disbelief, you were giggling happily as if you weren't about to get folded in half.

You got up from your seat leaving your barely eaten meal and two stunned friends, and one who's eyes were glued to his switch.

'Which one did he go to-' Thought unable to finish as you got pulled into a hard warm chest of someone you could only guess your lover.

You sensed his tense form as you shyly looked up to his face to only be met with dark pools of jealousy known as his eyes.

A shiver transferred to your head all the way down to your toes as a boner slowly began to form in your pants. Even when he was jealous and frustrated he could always be seen getting flat out drunk on his cat like existence alone.

And right now all you wanted from his noir existence was a dead. Good. Fucking.

"There something on my face or something ? Or are you imagining me as my bestfriend instead of me ? Your fucking boyfriend."

His words felt cold with a tinge of heated anger. He couldn't be truthfully angry at you could he ?

The only response he got from you was a shy shake of your head 'no'.

Gotta play like you didn't want your arse pounded like a dog in heat just a second ago.

You thought about your next moves as your pants got tighter by the second and your now playful and mischievous boyfriend glared down at your form.

'Ah–'

Not all the time did you see the man get hot and bothered up front like this, not in school at least.

Close within eachother faces, hot tension in the air. The heat coming off his body specifically was close to a bonfire in the summer, and you were his slightly charred marshmallow being close to the heat.

Melting into something deliciously horny.

" 'M just horny 'n wanna be fucked really hard today-" You whined. Never being the one to exactly whine and beg, but the last time you masturbated was about half a month ago !

It wasn't your fault he was so busy and such with volleyball though. He msdevsyre to have time for you every so often. Outside and inside of school he was the best boyfriend.

"Oh. Didn't notice you were so greedy. Why not ask me after school ?" He bluntly stated. Funny his he asked this and your erection is straining against fabric as you speak.

You tugged on the bottom of his uniform catching him off guard slightly. "If you don't fuck me right now, Tetsuro Kuroo I might just consider getting with Kenma !" You barked.

Tetsurou only smirked like the mischievous damn cat he was.

Leaning closer down to your face, "Alright then. When we get back from the stalls, I dont wanna here a word about the cum leaking out of your abused ass." He whispered for your ears only as he flicked a slightly erect nipple outside of your school flannel shirt.

¤ y.p.o.v ¤

"Yes, yes." I mumbled. My nipples were being stupidly played with.

"Bathroom.." I said. He only nodded, retreating his hands.

Making our way down to the bathroom was audibly quiet. Only our footsteps being heard throughout the silent halls.

My eyes skimmed his posture and tall stature as I noticed his bulge. Soon enough it was going to be forcefully filling me in some dirty stall.

I look up at Tetsu and see his unusual stoic face fall into something familiarly mischievous as he caught on to me.

The sexual appeal and aura was never lost as we made our destination. Thankfully, we made it to the bathrooms without me jumping on him right there and then.

"We're here and let's hurry this up, pretty boy. I dont feel like getting in trouble for fucking you between classes again." He stated. I only scoffed and chuckled lightly.

At this point I dont care if we skipped a few minutes just to fuck. Did it once, I'm sure we wouldn't get caught twice.

Walking in the bathrooms, the first thing I do is pull him down for a kiss. Reminding him that I'm still feeling it.

He chuckled in the kiss. Wrapping his rather long arms around my waist, picking me up as I tossed my legs over his waist. His muscular body holding me up as if I weighed like air.

"Bubs.. About fucking you into these stalls. You know why I'm gonna go rough right," I nodded slowly. Giving him a few small hickies on his neck.

Faking my innocence for a better fuck is always worth while. He took that as a thumbs up as he once again let out that noir chuckle of his.

"That's good to know babes~"

Further movements were heated skin to skin touches and kitten licks and bites of each other. Some movements pornos could never mimic.

His calloused fingers gripping my throat, forcing eye contact as he smirked on how wrecked I already looked. I would say it was embarrassing if my mind wasn't attracted to his knee gliding across my tight pant front.

"Looks like you need to get that attitude fucked out of you from earlier, hm ?"

My mind barely focusing on his wolfish voice as he licked a long strong underside of my jaw, making me visibly shake and quiver slightly. The contact we shared in this cramped stall has me gasping for air the more I think of someone barging in. Any second I could literally bust thinking of how he would fuck me harder, the two pairs of feet on ther other side of the stall merely nonexistent to us.

"Tetsu please- I want it really bad~ I was bad wasnt I ?" I was becoming desperate as I slithered my hand down to his own very visible, erection.

He groaned lightly before chuckling and kissing me once more. I know he knows that my actions with his bestfriend weren't intentionally to hurt him, but what if I had fucked his bestfriend-

My thought was intruded as he flipped me over the stall door and shucking my pants off my body. Doing the exact same to his own as he harshly pushed into me.

I choke out a long groan of surprise as he held me against his clothed chest. "Ah-! Wait Tetsu!~" I was hushed by long fingers. Poking and prodding on my tongue to my throat.

He whispered in my ear, "Shh, now what if we get caught and I get in trouble for fucking you ?~", nibbling on my earlobe tantalizingly slow.

Hot breath we shared as his dick ushered in and out of my puckered hole. Minding you that we had no lube so the burn of him dragging himself in and out of me was a blinding pain.

My hands made attempt of pushing him away. Drool just at the corner of my mouth, fingers still at work.

He got the idea, pulled out to the tip, and lazily drooled on his shaft. His shape successfully returning to it's desired place.

"Can't have you hurting too bad. Even though this is a well deserved punishment~" He smirked at his own comment.

Right. I got myself in this situation and every second of it I loved. So close to the spot aswell-

"NGH–! Hah~ Shit Tetsu~ Right- Right thereee~!!" I shut my eyes closed tightly. My dick dripped precum as every few thrusts directed to my prostate.

"I found your spot, hm ?~ My baby finna cum soon ?~ Want me to jack you off or should I not, keep in mind your not off the hook, love.~" He mocked as his hands gripped my left leg, sandwiching between the stall door and my lover.

His other hand on my dick refusing of ejaculation. The new angle and pressure on my cock making my head fall back.

God I felt like I was going dumb and on his dick !

"PLEASE— I NEE- AH!~ I NEEF TO CUHM!~" I babbled. I doubt he heard me clearly though

Tetsu spat in his hand as his hand rapidly started to glide across my shaft. The slick palm feeling heavenly on my member. It was all so overwhelming !

Drool finally making it's way down my chin and hicked up throat.

"Bubs- Fuck-! Babe I'm finna cum in this sweet ass. Better keep in too~ Let Kenma and everyone else know you have a boyfriend~" He grunted near my ear as I frantically nodded my cockhead probably a pretty red now, completely swollen and wet.

"Cu- Cuhminggg!!~" I slurred as a particular harsh thrust shoved me off the edge and the knot in my stomach grew and snapped.

I felt a gush of his semen flow in my abused hole as he grunted and stilled ministrations. His cock head snug on my sore prostate.

"I- I hope you remember my words from earlier bubs. Wasn' playing." He scoffed as he checked out my blotchy neck and slobber slicked face.

The sight, I'm sure was obscene as he spread my cheeks. Cock head only inserted by the tip in hopes none of his hit substance fell on the bathroom tiles.

"Fuck Y/n.. Do this shit again I might just have to fuck you in front of Kenma~" He said tauntingly, slapping my ass aggressively as I eeked I surprise.

"I'm gonna leave first and you get cleaned up alright ? Don't want people to notice that we fucked like rabbits in the stalls." He said helping me with my clothes back on my body. I was too braindead to do about anything.

" Kiss.." My words coming out slurred. He looked up at me as he was helping me put my slacks on now. Leaning in giving me a long kiss.

My body leaned into his as I dragged my arms around his neck. Humming in satisfaction as I parted the sensually deep contact.

"You're so cute after sex !" He exclaimed as I ruffled his hair giggling now off my high.

He cleaned up after a few more shared pecks and left first as I sat on the toilet for about 6 minutes.

I checked my phone fir the time and I saw that it was nearing the end of the lunch hour.

'Fuck !'

I splashed some water on my face quickly before ushering to my next period. Being early wasn't so bad I suppose.

[a-lil-perspective]

70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍

[harksness]

Midnight

Gwen Stacy x Reader

A/N: Okay so I promised to write this/wrote it before I went mia from this blog for the fattest of minutes and I have no clue why I didn't just post it. I think it's bc I didn't like it at the time, but now that I reread it I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. So I hope you enjoy this dusty Gwen x Reader I dug out of the pit of hell that is my drafts!! Also, I'm working on chapter 3 of No Longer Yours and it'll be out soon I promise!!! I've just been so busy!!

Summary: Gwen had a rough night out on patrol and she needs her girlfriend to ground her.

Masterlist

Word Count: 1,320

Warnings: None

You've always been a light sleeper. So, when you felt your bed dipping next to you, it startled you awake. Initially, you freeze. Waiting for the stranger to do something, your heart is pounding in your chest. With your brain still foggy from sleep, you roll over quickly, the sheets tangling around your waist. You don't know what you were hoping to accomplish with that. 

“It’s alright, it’s just me.”

Immediately you recognize your girlfriend's voice, and you feel yourself let out a breath that you had been holding, the tension leaving your body. You blindly reach out as you blink the remnants of sleep from your eyes until you feel her arm, then proceed to give it a soft, lighthearted smack.

“Jesus, Gwen! You scared the ever loving crap outta me!”

You exclaimed, your voice still slurred from sleep. You suddenly sense the tense air surrounding her. She stays silent, staring out the window and into the night sky. That’s when you notice your apartment window is still cracked open from her entry. The cool night air drifts into the warm room, and it feels nice against your overheating skin. That’s when you remembered- Gwen only comes in through the window like this after a bad night. Like, a really bad night. Like, someone died or got seriously injured sorta night. You feel your heart tighten at the realization.

You sat up, scooting a bit closer to her. You slowly raised your hand and rested it on her shoulder. Her suit is still on, her hood bunched up at the base of her neck. You squeeze her shoulder comfortingly. When she didn’t protest, and she never does, you brought up your hand and began combing your fingers through her soft, blonde locks. Gwen only continued to look out the open window, and at that moment a gentle breeze came through and danced with her hair. 

“What do you need, baby?”

You asked softly, gently. Once again you moved your hand to her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. You wanted to remind her that you’re here, that you’ll always be here for her. Gwen’s gaze shifted to her lap where her hands rest and you follow her eyes, finding her mask clutched tightly between her gloved fingers.

“I just need you.”

She finally spoke. Your heart aches at how broken she sounds. She turns her head to look at you, those stunning blue eyes of her finally meeting yours. Concern etched across your features at the ruined look in her eyes. Your heart aches again. All you want to do is hold her and protect her from the world- let someone else be Spider-Woman. Let someone else save the day. All you want is for Gwen to be okay, and she can't be okay with the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

“You have me, Gwen. I’m right here.”

She shifted so that she was facing you, one hand bracing herself on the bed, and the other coming up to cradle your cheek. Gwen pulled you towards her, and you didn’t resist. You didn’t want to. Her lips met your own, desperate and needy. It knocked the wind right out of you. You did your best to return the kiss, but still, drowsiness slowed your thoughts and your movements. You leaned forward, tangling your hand in her hair as she slipped her tongue into your mouth. 

She pulled back abruptly, and you took a moment to catch your breath.

“God, I’m sorry. I come in here in the middle of the night and wake you up, then just grab your face and just shove my tongue down your throat? I’m so stupid.. I should’ve asked you if it was okay. I shouldn’t have woken you up, you need your sleep. I’m sorry.”

She sighed, dragging her hands down her face in embarrassment. You grab one of her still gloved hands and shake your head.

“Never apologize, Gwen. I’m here when you need me. I’ll always be here... And I could never turn down a makeout session with my extremely hot girlfriend. I love your kisses, Spider-Woman.”

You smile playfully at her, with your fist still tangled in her hair, you bring her face closer to yours and simply rub your nose against hers lovingly. She smiles softly in return, a quiet laugh falling from her lips.

“What would I do without you?”

Gwen smiled, and you smiled back.

“You would be so lost."

"I would be."

She says quietly, her smile turning soft as she looks at you with eyes full of love. You lean in and leave a kiss on her forehead. 

"Even though you look really good in that suit, it's time for bed. And I'd prefer that you don't sleep in that thing."

Gwen hums approvingly as you get up from the bed and make your way to your closet, the moonlight illuminating the room in grays and whites, only tints of color. Giving you just enough light to clearly search through your closet. 

"I love wearing your shirts more than this thing, anyways. I love wearing your shirts more than anything, actually."

You grin at her words as you find a ratty old grey t-shirt. Hopefully this one will do.

You turn around just as she’s bending over to shimmy the suit off of her feet. You can’t help but admire how good she looks- the moonlight hitting her back makes her look radiant. She's so beautiful and stunning, in moments like these you can't help but be in awe that she's even real. 

“My eyes are up here.”

She wiggles her eyebrows at you and you feel your face flush. You clear your throat and laugh it off. 

“You’re too observant, I never get to secretly oggle you.”

You pout and she laughs as she folds her suit and stuffs it into her backpack. Her laugh makes you relax a bit, happy that she’s starting to become a little more normal.

“Here, catch.”

You interrupt before she can say anything else. You throw the shirt at her, and she catches it with her amazing reflexes. She holds it out in front of her and studies it for a moment, a slight pout now making its way onto her lips. She’s so cute.

“I want to wear your Fall Out Boy shirt, it’s my favorite.”

You throw yourself back into bed, bouncing slightly as you do so before getting under the blankets. 

“It’s dirty, gorgeous. You’ll have to make do with this one.”

Now you’re the observant one, because you notice a hint of red on her cheeks as she slips the shirt over her head. You smile to yourself, happy to have been able to successfully fluster her. 

She slips under the covers next to you, and you open your arms. Gwen scoots in closer, and she rests her head on your shoulder, bringing up her hand to rest on your chest. You bury your nose in her hair and kiss the top of her head as you wrap your arms around her. You feel her relax in your embrace, a soft sigh leaving her lips. 

She’s safe here, in your bed, in your arms. She can drop all of the stress of being a superhero at the door and pick it up again in the morning. Moments like these are her only bits of peace amongst the chaos, the only thing that keeps her sane and grounded. She really doesn’t know what she would do without you. You’re an angel, and she doesn’t understand how she got so lucky. 

After a moment of silence, Gwen says your name softly.

“Yes, dear?”

You whisper into the roots of her hair.

“Thank you for always being here for me.”

She says, even softer than before. You smile, running your thumbs against her skin.

“Of course. I’ll always be here when you need me.”

[bittersweetmorality]

— chuuya boyfriend headcannons (sfw & nsfw)+ drabble

☾ genre: SFW and NSFW Headcannons (NSFW section is marked-- 18+)

☾ pairing: Nakahara Chuuya x GN!reader (reader is given the name ‘mommy’ in the drabble)

☾ warnings: none for the SFW– general smut for the NSFW ??

☾ w/c: 1,978 words

☾ a/n: hey lol :D as a certified chuuya fucker, i just had to.  i literally have like three other chuuya drafts that i’m currently working on.  hopefully they turn out like i want and i can post them bc :| the chuuya tag is starving.  anyway i hope i can populate it just a tad.  thanks for reading bugs !

— SFW 

lemme start off by saying that he will treat yo ass RIGHT.  ON MY MOMMA.

not to bring his trauma into this already but :| my man has major abandonment issues.  he will not do anything to jeopardize your relationship, and he honestly just values your happiness above anything else

you just know how much he cares about the fellow members of the mafia– even though they don’t requite the same amount of love that he gives them, he still loves them wholeheartedly

even dazai

little shit

his love language is definitely touch and gift-giving.  no i don’t accept criticism because i’m right

you’re telling me he wouldn’t absolutely spoil you with expensive gifts ?? mans is a mafia executive– he’s making hella bank, and he is spending it all on you

he’s also definitely a pretty clingy significant other, but good luck trying to get him to admit that :|

his life is… well… yaknow

there’s always a lot going on there..... he’s stresst

he wants nothing more than to just hold you in his arms after a long day-- especially if he just came back from a hard day at work

times like this are when he’s most clingy-- he feels like he almost lost you, and now he never wants to let you go

many, many times he’s fallen asleep like this; you’re basically suffocating in his grip as his eyelids flutter closed, either on the couch or your bed

but of course you’re not going to complain

and he’s so glad you don’t

he’s also the type to almost never explicitly say that he loves you at first, it’s simply not something that comes naturally to him

instead he indulges in his love languages profusely, and he just hopes you get the message

he’s also afraid that you’ll leave him if he says something like that, so for a long time he doesn’t :(

so when you come home to a bottle of expensive wine wrapped in an exquisite red ribbon, you know he just wants to tell you how much he loves you

eventually, of course he’s comfortable with you enough to say it, and it comes completely natural

and since he’s such a romantic, he says it every morning when you wake up, and before you go to bed without fail

he’s definitely the type to show you off too

like, as he’s having a conversation with someone, he’ll suddenly get really loud when talking about you so everyone within a three-mile radius can hear

“well, you see i would go out drinking with you tonight, but i actually have a date.  with my partner.  you know them, right?  here’s a picture i took of them a few days ago, just look a-”

also: biggest hype man

you could open a jar of jam and he’d be like “holy shit, you go babe”

nakahara chuuya kiss me rn challenge

anyway, basically he’ll love and support you no matter what

like truly you’re like a walking ray of sunshine to him

anyway !!!! DATES !!!!!!!

dates with chuuya are planned.  always.

like i SAID he’s a hopeless ROMANTIC MY GOD

he absolutely loves picking you up at your doorstep and taking you for a ride around town on his motorcycle

speaking of which, your arms wrapping around his middle and squeezing him tight as he drives the bike is literally his favorite thing in the world.  oh my god you’re going to make him melt

and i know for a fact your first kiss with him was after he dropped you off at your door when your first date was at its end

it was almost completely perfect honestly, except when your faces were just mere inches from one another, his hat bumped into your forehead and fell to the ground

baby was so embarrassed-- he went bright red and picked up his hat, basically shielding his face

he just wanted the date to be completely perfect– and it was!! until that happened

but obviously you just let out a light giggle and pulled him against you, and he quickly closed the gap between your lips

also, chuuya sleeps in

he sleeps a lot <33

that being said he loves lazy mornings

it’s well past 11, but you’re still laying in his arms– who is he to get up?? and disturb the peace??????

he will not.

also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can’t even emphasize this enough, but please comb your fingers through his hair

there’s a chance he might melt into a puddle on the spot and never recover but still

on the rare occasion where he’s the little spoon--

(which, speaking of which, @dazai-centric​ has a headcannon that chuuya always insists on being the big spoon no matter what, but on rare occasions he lets himself be wrapped up in your arms and THEY’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.)

anyway, so on this rare occasion

where his head is basically buried in the junction between your shoulder and your neck, and you just rake your fingers through his hair softly

he dead.  dead as hell.

and ERRRRM.  kisses with him are just……… wow…………

naturally, he always wants to be the best at everything-- it’s just his personality

and kisses are no exception

he has to be the BEST

and he is

so, kisses are always so passionate and rough

okay hold on maybe this should go under the NSFW category 😐

ANYWAY!!!! 19472946/10 boyfriend

— NSFW

so rough sex is very common for y’all 😁

he likes to take his frustrations out from the day like this, and honestly you don’t complain

he definitely has a high sex drive so 😁

obviously you have an established safe-word and talk about everything before anything transpires because the LAST thing he wants is to hurt you in any way

but if you ask him to spank you he is definitely not gunna say no <3 chuuya said spanking kink

speaking of kinks

bondage xoxo

this goes both ways— he likes to tie your wrists to the headboard with rope and tie your legs down if you’re okay with it

for him, he likes his wrists cuffed to the bed

but he definitely doesn’t like all of his power stripped away by having him completely tied up

also he loves eye contact

that’s why missionary and mating press are his favorite positions <3

he likes to grab you by the jaw and make you look at him when he’s fucking you

“hey, hey, princess what did we say? if you want to cum, look me in the eyes when i fuck you, yeah?”

he loves praise and degradation equally

but if you’re degrading him don’t go too far :((

degrade slightly him while he’s on the bottom and he’s putty in your hands

now, if you praise him while he’s on top, get ready to not be able to walk for the next 3-5 business days because that’ll feed his ego a LOOOT

and he’ll just get lost in the moment because he loves you....... so much

he degrades you slightly, but only during foreplay

he calls you his little slut, or his whore

“aw, so wet for me and we’re barely getting started, doll.  such a little whore, aren’t you?”

when you actually get into it, it’s all praise from him

he wants you to know how important you are to him, how good you feel and just everything on his mind

he loses his filter in the moment awn god

“so fucking perfect, i only want you.  you’re mine.  god, you feel so fucking good.”

he loves to hear you too-- it really feeds his ego

but sometimes if he’s really had a rough day, he’ll make you gag on his finger or wrap his hand around your neck

he doesn’t squeeze too hard nor genuinely make you gag, he just likes the way your eyes are barely able to meet his because he’s making you feel so good

but ANYWAY pet names are a MUST with him

he calls you doll, sweetheart, princess, baby, dove, doll

basically every sweet name under the sun during sex

he likes you to call him sir 😁

this man has no shame when it comes to noise

like absolutely none

since he’s possessive, he wants people to know he’s fucking you, and how good he feels because of you

no one else can make him feel that way and he wants everyone to know

so he’s LOOOUUUDD,,,, especially in your ear

he likes leaning down and moaning in your ear, just to get a reaction out of you

he makes fun of you for it later on, and you have his full permission to smack that smug little smirk off his face

but the amount of times you had to stop mid-way because y’all got knocks on your door from your neighbours 😐 they’re so sick of y’all

on average, you have sex at least 4 times a week

that’s not including quickies tho

did i mention that chuuya loves quickies <3

especially when it’s in his office and he fucks you on his desk

and because he doesn’t care who hears him-- you bet your ass the entire Port Mafia has heard you

he likes to go down on you for quickies more than actual sex, and he will respectfully never decline a blowjob

because he’s a gentleman

anyway

sorry to any of y’all who have a breeding kink,,, but chuuya definitely does not

he’s so afraid of having kids

moving on

onto sub!chuuya

did somebody say SWITCH 🤨☝️

chuuya did <3

now for a long time he doesn’t really let his submissive side out because,,, it’s a really vulnerable part of him yaknow?

but after a while, and after he’s completely trusted you to take care of him like that

oh boy

bottom bitch <3

still loud as HELL

except it’s less of moaning and more of whining

he’s such a whiner

and a brat

mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink mo

also i don’t really know how else to describe it but-- if you force him to look you in the eyes and use a stern tone

..........dead.  dead as hell.

now take this drabble as a tribute to sub!chuuya

“and why should i listen to you?  what are you gunna do?” chuuya furrowed his brows at you, as if he was challenging you.

“aw, baby,” you leaned down from your position of straddling him, caging his head between your arms.  “you still have so much to say even though your hands are handcuffed to the bed.  so bold, aren’t you?” you stroked his lower lip gently, and he whimpered lowly in response.

suddenly, you sat up, getting into a position to prepare to get up off of him completely, “but, you’re right.  what am i going to do?  i guess i’ll just leave you here for the rest of the night.  go-”

“WAIT!! NO- I-” he bit his lip to stop any more words from escaping him.

“’wait’?  is there something you wanna say, baby?” your legs trapped his once again.

“... please.”

he averted your gaze, and you reached down to grip his jaw sternly, moving his head to face you completely.

“please what?”

no answer.

“you know i can’t read your mind, baby.  you’re going to have to use your w-”

“please fuck me.” the words tumbled out of his mouth, almost too quickly to even be audible, still, your lips shifted into a gentle smile.

but you weren’t completely content with him yet.

“and what’s my name?”

“...mommy.”

“and you want mommy to fuck you, is that right?”

“...yes.  please...”

you planted a passionate kiss onto his lips, and upon breaking it, you shifted closer to his ear.

“well, i can’t say no since you asked so nicely, now can i?”

masterlist

[sparkle-hwa]

at your service

summary: patiently waiting for your boyfriend to come home turns out to be quite the treat.

pairing: dom!hongjoong x sub!female reader

genre: smut

TW: none (but please let me know if I need to add any)

CW: dom/sub, name calling, slight degradation, unprotected sex

Word count:  2,366

A/N: aahhhh!! this is my first fanfiction that i wrote for ateez EVER and my first one I’m ever posting! i hope you all like it! please feel free to send any feedback :) 

________________________________________________________________

You sat on the couch, headphones in, trying to concentrate on writing your term paper. The semester was almost over and you needed at least a B to keep your solid academic standing. Better grades now meant more scholarship opportunities for graduate school in the future and that’s what mattered most. Rewriting the same sentence over and over again didn’t seem so bad compared to endless loan payments. Pulling the blanket up higher on your chest you snuggled in and decided that thirty more minutes of writing would put you in a good place to finish and edit it tomorrow. Your entire week had been consumed by school and you were not about to let your Friday night get taken up by this. Hongjoong, your sweet, caring boyfriend would be home soon and you wanted a clear head for what you believed to be in store for you.

He had been sending you picture after picture on snapchat almost all of today. To the outsider viewer, it probably looked like he was taking simple selfies; after all, he had been at his internship all day.  But the added captions were definitely for your eyes only. He detailed just what he wanted to do with you - to you - tonight and it was enough to make you squirm in your seat during class and turn the brightness all the way down on your phone.  Recalling it now, you could feel the heat rise in your body and you subconsciously swallowed hard. Some say you can’t remember pain, but you definitely remembered how difficult it was to get yourself situated in your 8am lecture last week, the welts still red on your backside. Shaking your head and adjusting your earbuds, you got back to work.

—-

Hongjoong parked his car outside of the apartment complex and slumped in the seat once he cut the engine. It had been a long day. His internship had him working twice as hard, copying and filing, delivering reports, and filling coffee cups. He counted his blessings every morning though. He was chosen from hundreds of applications that flooded in from the university and this on his resume was sure to impress future employers. Sighing, he thought about what would have happened if you hadn’t convinced him to apply. You were so good for him. 

With a smirk, he sat up, grabbed his laptop case, and opened the car door. He walked briskly to the front door and opened it slowly. Hongjoong first saw you sitting on the couch and then noticed the headphones placed securely in your ears. With a devious smile, he quietly set down his bag next to the end table, loosened his tie, and quietly padded across the foyer to the living room. 

— 

You were none the wiser to the fact that your boyfriend had just walked in the apartment. Seventeen was blasting loud in your headphones and in retrospect, you probably should have just played it from your laptop, lest someone who wanted to rob you had walked in instead. Bopping your head along to the beat, you felt really accomplished as you saved your final rough draft. Suddenly, you felt something coming down over your head. Before you had a moment to think, Hongjoong’s tie was tightening around your neck and you gasped at the sudden change of events. Leaning your head back, you saw your boyfriend standing over your with a look in his eyes that frightened you but also made you excited. 

“Good evening babygirl,” he cooed at your lovingly. 

“Good evening sir,” you replied, batting your eyelashes.

“Ooh someone remembered her manners. You must really want something from me.”

“Anything for you…” you trailed off as he stroked your cheek and you shut your eyes. As quickly as he was sweet, he smacked your cheek hard enough to make you gasp. Hongjoong tightened the restraint around your neck more. 

“Get on your knees,” he growled at you, dropping the end of his tie and letting it drop down your back. Obliging, you dropped off the couch and sank down. You gazed down at your knees and heard Hongjoong walk around the end of the couch sit down. 

“Mmm.. so pretty down there, sunk down just for me,” he purred, palming his cock through his work pants. You continued staring at your knees, feeling the heat pool at the bottom of your underwear. His praise was affirming to hear, even if you couldn’t respond. 

“Hands and knees now,” he ordered. You put your palms on the hardwood floor and pushed your body up. The tie slipped down your side and grazed the floor. Hongjoong grabbed it and pulled at it slightly.

“Scoot closer.” You crawled closer as he pulled you by his tie and he pushed on your ass to make you move sideways. 

“I’ve been dreaming of this ass all day. Work was so boring and I needed something to stimulate me,” he said, rubbing your ass over your PJs pants. 

“I’m here for you, sir,” you dared to say. You were sure he wouldn’t care if you spoke without permission if it meant you were validating the fact that you were his and only his. Using the tie, he jerked your head so close your temple thumped against his knee. 

“That’s correct. You are here for me. I’ll make sure you never forget that.” In one swift movement he pulled down your PJ pants and smacked one of your pale asscheeks. He pulled them down farther and you moved just a little so he could remove them completely along with your underwear. Once he rid you of your pants, you dropped back onto your feet and he slipped your sweatshirt off over your head. You obviously didn’t have a bra on since you had been home alone for the past 2 hours and you heard him murmur a curse quietly under his breath. It was cold on the hardwood, yet the more you thought about being completely naked in front of Hongjoong with only his tie around your neck the warmer you got.

“Let’s go slut,” he practically snapped at you and jerked the restraint tightly upward causing your head to jerk forward. Crawling on your hands and knees you followed him back to your bedroom where he told you to remain on all fours. He wasn’t noticing but you silently dared him to look over and make eye contact with you. You bit your lip and did your best to look as sexy as possible. At just the right moment, Hongjoong turned around and looked right at you. His gaze was penetrating, dominating, and you could feel the wetness of your heat spread slightly to your bare thighs. 

“Come here baby,” he purred and you crawled slowly over to your lover, arching your back so that your ass stuck up higher and your tits stuck out just a bit more. When you reached him, you kneeled down at his feet and Hongjoong sat on the end of the bed. 

“So you’re going to sit there like the good girl you are and you’re going to watch me jack off as I think of your tight wet pussy and then I’m going to pound you so hard you’ll have trouble walking in the morning. Sound like a plan?” 

You squirmed on your feet, hoping to find friction somewhere to help relieve the wet aching you felt. “Yes sir, that sounds delightful,” you said, shooting him a glance that was somewhere between sexy and scathing. Hongjoong unzipped his pants and removed them with his undergarments. His cock sprung free. You quietly moaned as you saw his length unclothed. Swiftly he grabbed the end of the tie again and pulled you closer to him. 

“Hmm I like this little leash I have on you,” he said with intense eye contact that made you melt. “Makes it easy for you to do what I want you to.” He winked and stuck his thumb in your mouth, pushing down your tongue. You welcomed the intrusion, happy to have some sort of physical touch to focus on. Wrapping his other hand around his cock, he started to stroke it. Hongjoong let out a gravely moan. 

“Suck,”he ordered. You happily did as you were told, lifting up a bit so he didn’t have to lean down so much and sucked on his finger. He sped his pace up and pushed around in your mouth. You wanted desperately for him to replace it with his length. You moaned around his finger, hoping he would take pity on you. 

“Aw does baby girl want more?” Hongjoong cooed at you. You nodded and he removed his finger. Hopeful, you gazed at him. Instead, he shoved you back down to your feet. 

“I wonder what getting what you want is like?” He growled back. “Guess you’ll never know.” Winking he leaned back and continued to rub his dick, completely ignoring your pout. Closing his eyes, Hongjoong let his lips fall open. He heaved a heavy breath. Hongjoong seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself. 

You however were not pleased. You were the slickest you had ever been and were fed up. Teasing you was one thing, but neglecting you for his own pleasure made you scrunch up your face. You watched your infuriatingly handsome boyfriend jack off and felt the displeasure rise. Your pussy ached. You slipped a hand down there to give some much needed pressure to your swollen clit. You decided to let out the loudest, sexiest moan you could muster to get his attention. Snapping up, Hongjoong made direct eye contact with you. His cock was still in his hand but he had stopped stroking and was watching you with a penetrating gaze. You continued to rub yourself and made direct eye contact right back at him. He scowled at you and you winked back at him knowing that that was either the best or the worst decisions you had ever made. 

“Excuse me,” he growled. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting what I want,” you countered. You brought your fingers to your mouth to suck your juices off. “Is this what you want?” You eyed him seductively. 

“Damn straight,” he replied. “Get up here?” He said it like a question but you knew it was a thinly veiled order. He was playing it safe. Somehow that turned you on more knowing that you had almost won. 

Hongjoong laid on his back and you situated yourself so that you were on all fours beside him. His weeping cock lay flat against his pubic hair. You took it in your hand. Using the precum as a lube, you sped up quickly knowing that he hadn’t been going fast enough earlier. 

“Uuuuugh” came a soft moan. You leaned up and bit his lower lip, just enough to lengthen his moan and turn it gravely. 

“I love your sweet noises,” you cooed softly. “But I think it’s about damn time I started making those.” Dropping his cock, you rolled to lay on your back. Spreading your legs felt so good as the rush of cold air caressed your wet cunt. Hongjoong rolled onto his side and immediately stuck two fingers into your entrance. No warning. No announcement. Nothing, as he shoved them as deep as he could manage. It was enough to make you yelp out loud and remind you that you were still in trouble for disobeying. 

“Fuuuuck,” you moaned. 

“Mmm still my little babygirl,” murmured Hongjoong. He started to pump in and out faster. You were left breathless and clawing at the fitted sheet on the bed. 

“Is babygirl going to cum?” Inquired Hongjoong as he clearly had no intention of slowing down. 

“Y-yes sir. D-do I have permission?” You answered. Desperately hoping he would let you, you arched your back, hoping his fingers would stretch you out more. 

“I suppose you could,” he said. “It’ll have to be on my count though.”

“Yes sir,” you moaned out breathlessly. 

“One…. two… three…” he began. 

“Uuugh,” you began. “You never told me what number I could cum on, sir” 

“Good,” was the only response he gave to you. “Now where was I?”

He frustratingly began counting at four again. you felt the pressure building up in your lower abdomen. Either way, you were going to cum. It was either going to be when you were supposed to or you would break the rules. Somehow a dick would end up inside of you and you weren’t mad about it. Choosing the number ten, you achingly waited for his voice to reach the final number. 

“Ten…” and everything else faded away as your pussy clenched around his finger. Hongjoong latched onto your nipple and bit down fairly hard. The sensation added to your orgasm and you enjoyed every moment of riding it out. Fucked out, you shivered as he removed his fingers. 

“Nasty slut,” Hongjoong said and he wiped his moistened fingers onto your breasts. “Time for you to get properly fucked.”

He centered himself over you. In true fashion, your boyfriend wasted no time bottoming out in your already fucked pussy. His swift movements caused you both to moan at the same time. Hongjoong locked lips with you and shoved his cock in and out of you. 

“Lift your arms up,” he moaned. You obliged and he clasped your wrists above your head. 

“You look so good under me,” he growled at you. “Stick your tongue out.” Once again you did as you were told and he removed his hand from your wrists just for a moment so you could suck on his fingers again. 

“Fuck baby I’m gonna cum,” he murmered in your ear. With one final stroke he spilled inside of you. Your pussy clenched around him again as he pulled out and you sighed as you felt his wetness inside of you.

“Lemme go get something to clean you off babygirl,” Hongjoong said with a quick kiss. He hurried back with a damp washcloth and proceeded to clean you off. Once he discarded it, Hongjoong slid beside you on the bed and snuggled close.

“So…. how was your day?”

[nanowrimo]

Tips on Finishing Your Novel from the NaNoWriMo Writers Board

Do the characters in your unfinished novel haunt your dreams? Does your incomplete story call your name from its dusty place in your “drafts in progress” folder? Introducing #NaNoFinMo (National Novel Finishing Month)! Our newest track for April’s upcoming Camp NaNoWriMo session is jam-packed with fin-tastic resources to help you finish your novel.

We asked our talented Writers Board to share some tips for finishing first drafts. Read on to discover what these authors have to say!

Sarra Cannon

Sometimes what holds us back is that all we can see is this huge gap between the sucky draft we think we've written and the masterpiece we want our novel to be. Stop looking at the gap and thinking about how impossible it feels. Instead, take it one word, one scene at a time. Finish it piece by small piece. Each step of the way, a little bit more of that masterpiece you're writing will reveal itself. I promise. There are things about your novel you can't see from where you're sitting, but a few steps forward and suddenly, there's a bit more clarity. Stop expecting yourself to make an impossible leap, and instead, show up every day and take a single step forward. You can do this.

Aya de Leon

One step at a time. I start by going through my draft and finding all the places where I wrote things like "DESCRIBE THE CAFE" in all caps. Once I've filled in the gaping holes, I read it through the whole book and edit the things that seem off. If there are bigger issues that seem to need work, I keep a separate running list of those. Then I go back and address those bigger issues. Then it's time to get someone to read it, to see what it needs next!

Susan Dennard

Don’t worry if your ending—or your middle or your whole book!—is a mess. Revision is the next step of the creative process, no matter what, but you can’t revise what you don’t have! So just get words down and worry about making them good later.

Grant Faulkner

The irony of the moment when you think about giving up on your novel is that it can also be a moment that’s ripe with opportunity if you just keep going. After a lapse, it’s important to forgive yourself, readjust your goals, and give yourself a fresh start so that a bad week of writing doesn’t lead to a bad month of writing, which then turns into a bad year of writing. I pick a “milestone day”—the first day of a new month or a new week—and start again. It’s all about designing your life around the things you rationally want to achieve instead of sinking into the powerful claws of more impulsive needs (such as quitting).

Life goes by too quickly to wait for next year or our next novel. I don’t want to die with a list of all of the novels I wish I would have finished. The main thing about any achievement isn’t necessarily starting it, but restarting it over and over again.

Mignon Fogarty

Find someone who will hound you mercilessly until you finish.

Kami Garcia

Even if you only write one page a day, at the end of the year you’ll have a book. Books aren’t written in first drafts. They’re written in revisions. But you can’t revise unless you finish.

Hugh Howey

If you are having a difficult time finishing your novel, try writing the final chapter! Too often, we get lost in the middle of our books, unsure of where we are heading. Create that final destination, then go back and write scenes that get you a step closer. Don't worry, you'll clean it all up in the revision process. The important thing is to have a rough draft with a complete story.

Mary Robinette Kowal

I always bog down at about the 3/4 mark, when I'm switching modes from opening questions to closing them. Now I treat that as a feature, not a bug, and take time to reread what I've written. I make notes of major dangling plot threads and then start giving my main character some wins as a way to start tying up threads.

Mur Lafferty

The first badge of a writer is writing an awful lot. NaNoWriMo winners have done that. But the next badge is finishing something. Storytellers of old didn't just get up from their campfires in the middle of their stories and wander into the woods.

Or, pithier:

You're not a storyteller if you don't finish your stories. Don't be a Storyte

Devi S. Laskar

Alas, it involves math! Make a list of all the items you have left to write (scenes, bits of dialogue and/or description) to complete a draft and then divide by thirty. Then you will know how many you have to tackle each day for the month. The keys are to keep the goals small (doable) and to set aside a bit of time to do these tasks every day!

Marissa Meyer

Remember that it's okay to skip scenes, chapters, even whole sections! If trying to write the middle of the book has put me in a slump, and I'd rather jump straight into the big, exciting finale, I'll do it. Once I've hit "the end," it helps motivate me to go back and fill in those empty spaces.

Emily X. R. Pan

Truth or dare! I'll go first.

Truth? Okay: Even as a professional author, every novel I write is a terrifying new challenge—I never know if I'll reach the end. But I do know that the books I don't finish are never going to be published.

As you might have discovered in November, it’s about figuring out how to keep going.

Here’s how I fight the overwhelm: Stop worrying about the whole book. Break it down into bite-sized pieces. Can you just write the next paragraph? Can you just write for fifteen minutes?

Do it today. Do it again tomorrow. Do it the day after. I dare you.

[rmg91]

Zoe Week; Day 6-A Night Off

AKA Comfort Zoe Night

So, this was the first prompt I actually wrote cause it spoke the most to me (the fluffy potential) but then the muses decided to be difficult and I struggled with it until like 2 days before Zoe Week began. I also wound up scrapping my partial first draft and re-writing the first bit to be slightly based off some wonderful Teny art because I realized it could still fic with my idea! (Gotta love great art that inspires) (The art in question is those wonderful pics of Zoe and Douxie as he meets her after a shift at Hextech and then precedes to be a little shit) Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this one and hopefully it doesn’t end too abruptly, like I said the muses wanted to be difficult with this one.

AO3

~*~*~*~*~*~

The night was clear and cool, something that would usually bring calm to the pink haired witch as she walked home from another busy day at Hex-Tech but not tonight. The day had been absolutely brutal. First she'd had the early shift, which was never fun, then she'd been assigned to the bar for almost the entirety of her shift which meant dealing with all sorts of customers. The irritable, the entitled, the ones that just wouldn't listen, it had almost driven her insane by the time her lunch break arrived. It was only after slurping down a cup of noodles and sending a curse heavy text on how crappy her day had been so far to Douxie that she got the wonderful news that she had to work a double shift. She was so going to curse Dave the next time she saw him, she always got his shifts whenever he didn't come in. And of course that extra shift came with, you guessed it, more bar duty! So Zoe had dealt with double the awful customers! Including two absolute Karen's. Why her managers kept putting her in the front when her talents lay better with the tech itself, she'd never understand.

At least she was finally off for the weekend...

Coming around the last corner before her apartment building, she spied her longtime partner and lover, Hisirdoux, leaning against the chain-link fence, waiting for her. She paused for a moment, taking in the rare relaxed air around him and admiring his bare biceps for a moment before sighing, knowing why he was waiting for her. And usually she'd be ready to go hunt Niffins and take on whatever else they might encounter on a Friday night, especially after the day she had, but she was too beat to do anything more. So shifting her bag in her grip, she made her way closer to the wizard, not looking forward to canceling their plans.

“Ah! The fair lady approaches!” He exclaimed, noticing her first with a smirk before his face soften, “Rough day, Love?”

“Uuugg!! You have no idea!!” She groaned, knowing her text had said as much but now she could rant in person about just how bad it actually was. Stopping next to him, she ran her fingers through her hair before rubbing at her temples, trying to push down the migraine that had been brewing since two o'clock, “Not only did fuckin' Dave not come in, we had two, Two, Karen's come in! I was almost certain we'd have a third but thankfully her husband calmed her down. Of course then that entitled Spanish teacher had to come in, again, who, of course, I had to deal with! Not to mention all the other sorts that came in today... And! Because the universe's law apparently decided to hate me today, someone calls right before closing!” She groaned again, feeling annoyed anew rather than relieved after her rant. “Anyway, as much as I'd like to go Niffin hunting, I'm just too beat-!”

Distracted as she was with her rant, the hedge-witch hadn't noticed Douxie's arm sneaking around her before he wrapped it around her shoulder and laid a kiss on her head. He hummed into her hair, nuzzling her softly, “I'm so sorry your day sucked, Darling.”

“Yeah, well...” Zoe felt her cheeks heat up, sinking into the hug he started to give her and feeling most of the fight leave her suddenly. You'd think after almost five hundred years of being together romantically this sap wouldn't cause such a reaction but you'd be wrong. “It's over now, I guess...And I have the weekend off thankfully.”

“That you do~” Douxie sang into her ear before suddenly rubbing his hand over her head vigorously and messing up her hair, “And I'm sure you'll feel much better after a good nights sleep!!”

“Aaarrgggg!!!” Zoe cried out in surprise and anger, “Hisirdoux!!” She pushed him away, glaring at his grin before marching away, “Jerk! Why do I like you again?!”

“Because without me and Arch your life would be dreadfully boring~?”

She huffed and flattened down her hair, “Hardly.” She then glared over her shoulder, “You are so sleeping on the couch tonight, or better yet, your own apartment when you get done.” She honestly wondered why she put up with his antics.

Douxie merely laughed some more, catching up to her and wrapping his arm around her waist, “Actually, Love, I've decided we're all taking the night off.” When she looked up at him with a disbelieving look he responded, “Really! Wards are already in place around town, so if there's any trouble, Arch and I can go take care of it but otherwise...” The wizard shrugged, “We're all off for the night and you have a little surprise waiting for you~”

“A surprise? Really?” She glared up at him, still annoyed, “I doubt whatever it is will make up for that stunt you just did...”

“I think it will~!” He sang.

Zoe huffed and crossed her arms, muttering a 'whatever' and allowing him to escort her to her apartment building and up to her home. Entering, she dropped her bag and kicked her shoes off by the door, striding over to where Archie was laying on the back of the couch and greeting the familiar with a chin scratch. Glancing around she saw nothing out of the ordinary with the exception that her sink was now empty of the few dishes she'd left there. If that was her so called 'surprise' than it was going to take a lot more than him doing her dishes for her to calm down from that surprise noogie. Lifting an eyebrow at the wizard, silently asking just what exactly he had planned, she watched him grin again before he offered up his arm to her.

“Come with me, Milady~ Your surprise awaits~”

Looking back down at Archie, the black cat merely stretched and stated, “I've been sworn to secrecy.”

Right, of course. Rolling her eyes, the pink hair witch allowed Douxie to guide her down her own hallway, stopping in front of the bathroom. Usually she could sniff out an idea on what he liked to surprise her with but tonight between her exhaustion and the fact that she was still a little annoyed with him, made her question just what he could've set up in the bathroom of all things.

Grinning down at her, Douxie gently pushed the door open and snapped his fingers. A dozen candles lit with the small pulse of magic, illuminating the simple space with a soft orange light and revealing the steaming, bubble filled bath. The light aura of blue magic indicated a warming spell, keeping it the perfect temperature for when she got home. Zoe let out a soft breath, feeling most of her annoyance leave, and leaned against him, letting him wrap his arms around her and nuzzle the top of her head. Trust this wonderful sap to fix her up something like this after she'd rough day at work. Sometimes Zoe wondered just what she did to have someone like Hisirdoux Casperan in her life but she certainly wasn't going to be ungrateful about it. She was even willing to let the whole noogie thing go...mostly.

“I want you to know I don't completely forgive you for that stunt outside but this...is a nice surprise.” She could even make out the light scents of tangerine and patchouli wafting from some of the candles. “And you can't always get away with something like that either.”

He chuckled low, placing a soft kiss on her head, “Of course, Love~” He carefully stepped back, bowing in an exaggerated manner as he gestured to the bathroom, “Now, do please enjoy, Milady, and once you're are done a meal will be ready for you.”

She snorted, “You can't cook.”

He clicked a pair of finger guns at her, “No but I can work an oven!” He then left her to her own devices with a final grin.

Zoe rolled her eyes and shook her head fondly. Gods he was a dork.

~*~*~*~

Twenty minutes later found Zoe happily relaxing in her bath, feeling better after the day she'd had, eyes closed as she listened the soft tunes playing from her small radio. She had to hand it to Douxie, he had thought of everything when setting all this up. The candles were the right amount of light, the radio was already set to play and the bath was filled with her favorite brand of bubble bath. There had even been a rolled up towel for behind her head as she leaned back in the tub. Humming along softly to the music, Zoe only wished for one last thing to make this perfect.

As if summoned by her thoughts, the door opened slowly just enough to allow a wine glass surrounded by blue magic to float in. Laughing lightly, she grabbed it out of the air, taking a sip before calling out, “Thank you but you could've given me it in person.”

“A gentleman never intrudes on a lady.” Was her response before she was left alone again to enjoy her bath.

~*~*~*~

Zoe eventually emerged, having stayed long enough for her fingers to prune slightly and for the water to grow cold, plus her stomach kept protesting the lack of food. So she made her way into the living room wrapped in one of Douxie's old bad shirts and a hoodie she had stolen, breathing in the scent of a freshly cooked frozen pizza. She was passed a plate with two large slices of her favorite kind, three meat with extra mushrooms, and had her glass refilled before being pointed over to go recline on the couch. Shaking her head, she followed the silent order and sat down, digging in before her boys were settled. Archie was passed a plate of salmon and sardines before Douxie joined her, his own plate balanced in a hand.

“So, what does the lady wish to watch tonight?” He asked, reaching for the remote and flipping through channels.

“Hmm...” The pinkette hummed, tucking her knees under her before taking a large bite of her pizza, “Don't really care. Just find something we can zone out to or make fun of.”

“As you wish~”

“Oh gods, no! Do not put that movie on!” She exclaimed, “I will kick you out if you do!”

Douxie laughed, almost spilling his dinner, “Very well! Not in the mood for it tonight.” He continued to chuckle as he flipped through more choices before settling on another horribly inaccurate film of a time they've lived through.

Later, once food was eaten and their movie had changed to something else, Zoe was snuggled against Douxie's side, on the verge of sleep. Archie was a ball of purring warmth on her lap and Douxie kept running soothing circles on her arm as she listened to his heartbeat. The witch was once again grateful to have these two in her life, not knowing just where she'd be without them. They made the bad days better. Wither it was helping her with a sprained ankle from running from goblins, helping her fight of a demon hellbent on kidnapping all the girls in a village or having to deal with crappy customers all day, they were always there beside her. Even if Douxie loved to take cheep shots that ultimately pissed her off even more. Zoe knew she'd always forgive him. And so, full, relaxed and loved, she fell asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Aaahhh, Zoe loves her dork~ And gotta love cheesy endings lol! Hope you enjoyed and aahh!! Zoe week is almost over!

[teaandatale]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @geekynerddemon who so lovingly wished for me to finish Layer on Layer. And though I haven’t been able to do so, I thought I would whet your appetite with a preview of Part 1 of my 2 Part Epilogue.

Please note this is a rough draft & subject to thorough revisions when I get the writing muse under control again.

Layer on Layer: Epilogue- PART ONE

“You see one painting, I see another, […] it’ll never strike anybody the same way and the great majority of people it’ll never strike in any deep way at all but—a really great painting is fluid enough to work its way into the mind and heart through all kinds of different angles, in ways that are unique and very particular. Yours, yours. I was painted for you.” ― Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch

Despite the scorching heat radiating from the sudden summer outside, Steve had turned the AC off while the sun blazed in through the windows of the loft’s living room where he’d been painting. He had his music turned up and he was humming as he worked.

Peggy had given him the custom made easel, sturdy, adjustable, gorgeous, no doubt pricey, as a gift. He’d been painting so much that Peggy had deemed it necessary he have an easel at her place, a designated space to work since he spent so much time there anyway. She had claimed is a selfish gift after he voiced concern about her being too generous, assuring him she looked forward to watching him paint from the comfort of her couch. And she often did, taking breaks from her work by watching him mix colors and paint broad strokes.

The first thing he had painted at his new easel was for her, another detailed flower arrangement, just for her.

After unveiling the final product of Ana’s anniversary painting, which reportedly made Ana cry, happy tears Jarvis assured, she had given Steve a tremendous hug and after their double date dinner, they discussed art for a long time, their significant others at their sides sipping tea opting to discuss the dessert spread instead. He’d been so happy and warm to sit there among her friends, her make-shift family, accepting and open to him. How he could possibly love Peggy more he didn’t fully understand other than that he was learning he did it with every passing day.

Not long after that, Peggy started suggesting dates at more art museums and galleries. She watched him paint and encouraged him to do it more broadly. To show his work. To do more commissions. He wasn’t sure about all that, but he did start to paint more and more. He’d started even transferring images out of his therapy journal into oils. He’d done several, even brought one in to show his art therapy group. They encouraged him to make a series, to show his stories on canvas.

Steve swirls his paintbrush into his yellows, ochres melding with browns.

He’s deep in concentration getting her warm brown eyes just right, the right shade, the touch of a knowing glimmer in them. He remembers the first time they locked eyes, across her bedroom, just down the hall from where he stood right then.

He’s so deep in concentration, he doesn’t think twice at the sound of the front door opening and then when he hears footsteps approaching.

“Hey Peg, aren’t you late?” he asks distractedly without looking up.

“She sure is,” a voice that’s not Peggy’s startles him. He nearly drops his palette, tipping it over and paint gets on his bare chest.

He looks up and sees Angie.

“Sorry!” she cries out, and he notices she’s not looking at his face when he sets the palette down, trying to wipe at the pint on his skin. “Wow. This is a look. Go English!”

Steve blushes, grabbing his rag and using it as a make-shift cover for at least part of his bare torso.

“I thought you two were meeting at your hotel for drinks,” Steve said, reaching over to the couch for his shirt. Angie is still staring when he slips it on.

“We were but she was running late. And so when she didn’t show I thought I’d see if we got our wires crossed and see if she was here. Sorry for scaring you. I still had my key, and I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t realize you’d be here.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m sure Peggy just got caught up or stuck in traffic. You know how her work is.”

Angie nodded. “Yeah, she’s always going at a hundred miles a minute.” She stepped further into the room until she was right in front of the canvas. “You’re painting Peggy! You’ve been painting a perfect portrait of her half-naked looking like a Greek God. Unreal.”

Steve blushed further. “It’s hot in here but I prefer the breeze and the sunlight filtering in while painting so I turned the air conditioning off.”

“Oh don’t apologize, Steve. This has been the best surprise to walk into. I can’t imagine how Peg handles coming home to this every day.”

“We’re not living together.”

The yet goes without saying.

She giggled. “Yeah and when’s the last time you were at your place?”

“This morning,” he said defensively.

She just smirked and continue to devolve into giggles.

“You’re an amazing artist. That looks just like Peggy, down to that spark in her eye. I might need to hire you to paint me.”

He laughed. “Free of charge Angie. Friends and family plan.”

She grinned. “You’re as sweet as a button, you know that?”

“Can I get you something? Water?” he asked, already headed into the kitchen.

“Water’s good.”

They say down in the living room together chatting.

“How was your flight? Did you have press today?”

“Yup. Did a few of the morning shows. I have a late-night show appearance tomorrow afternoon that I’m pretty excited about. I can’t believe they’re having me on it!”

“We’ll have to record it. Peggy and I have been watching every episode by the way. But we’re a few behind because I have to wait and watch them with her. But you’re our favorite!”

“Aw, shucks. I cannot believe you got Peggy watching network TV.”

He laughed. “No I got her to use Netflix. You got her into network TV. She says you’re the most believable, though she always figures out the plot twists before I do. Are you giving her spoilers?”

“No way! And give away the impact of my performances before she sees them? That’s definitely all English. How’s she been? Super busy?”

“A little, but less so recently. She had a busy few weeks before her conference with the EU but she’s been keeping a regular schedule lately, coming home for dinner most nights.”

“Guess I just got unlucky with my timing,” Angie replied. “But I’m glad Peggy’s been taking some time for herself.”

Steve nodded. He’d seen Peggy in all sorts of ranges of stress in the last ten months. He’d been so glad that she’d been taking more personal time off, delegating, taking care of her well-being, seeking out his support when she needed it. Of course she was a busy woman. That was a given. But she always tried to make time. She always took the effort to stay present when they spent quality time together.

She’d gone out of her way to support his painting. They’d spent so many evenings out, sipping wine and swinging by the latest “hot” opening only for Peggy to proclaim that his work was much better, more moving, worthy of his own showing.

He still wasn’t all too sure about the whole artist career, but he loved how supportive she had been. How much she cared. How much she believe in him. It was nice to know if nothing else, he had a fan in Peggy.

“I’ve been trying to make sure she’s been taking care of herself better.”

“Good. I already know how good you are to her. She’s always happy to talk about you. I wouldn’t have believed it before actually meeting you.”

He shrugs off the compliment, after all he didn’t want the praise for just being there for someone he loved. Besides she deserved it and more.

“Maybe she’s got held up in a meeting. I’m sure she remembers our reservation,” Steve said after another fifteen minutes without hearing from her. “I’ll try to call her again.”

He didn’t catch her, but he did leave her a message reminding her of their reservation and that he and Angie would meet her there. Steve changed quickly in Peggy’s room and then the two of them hailed a cab. Angie filled him in on some L.A. gossip and some stories of her cast mates. He liked how bright and bubbly Angie was. He liked hearing stories of how she and Peggy became friends. How Peggy had always believed in Angie becoming an actress, and how the two always had each other’s backs. He liked knowing there were people apart from himself that cared so much for her.

They were early for their reservation, opting for the bar while they continued to swap stories. He checked his phone once they were seated but there were no messages. Angie convinced him to split an appetizer as she was starving and he hadn’t eaten since lunch.

“Must be some hell of a meeting English is stuck in for her to respond to my texts for like five hours.”

Steve hummed, checking his phone.

“Wait. What did you say? You haven’t heard from her in that long?”

[xfandomwritingsx]

Being Human - James Vega/F!Shepard

Description: James and Shepard finally stop dancing around each other. AKA; a rewrite of the Citadel DLC.

Warnings/Labels: None really. Some super minor sexual stuff.

Approx. Word Count: 4,500

A/N: Look... this is at best a rough draft that I typed up and didn’t edit, but I will forever be bitter about how they made the Citadel play out with these two. And while I know it won't happen, I really wish they'd fix it in the remaster. I mean if you're going to remaster the games, that sounds like a damn good time to fix anything inappropriate and rape-y right?! I would love to do a whole slow burn of Shepard and Vega spanning from Earth to the end of the game, but if you know me, you know I'm SLOW AS MOLASSES to update and I'm not lying when I say it would take me years to finish. So instead... have a poorly written snippet. I tried to keep it as much in “canon character” as I could. 

Shepard stands on the balcony of her new apartment, mind gently jogging around the events of the last few days which bleeds into the events of the last few years. Resting her arms on the metal railing, she drops her head and sighs, trying to pull herself from the black hole that is her memory anymore. She wants to let it all go, just for a night.

“Hey, Lola,” James calls, pulling her back to the present. She looks up briefly wondering how long he’d been there before she sees the door closing behind him. How had she not heard it? “Nice place,” he comments, looking around the open layout. “Might not look so nice after that party you were talking about.” He walks further in, headed for the stairs to join her on the balcony.

“You wouldn’t trash my new apartment, would you James?” she jokes lightly, pushing herself upright off the railing.

“Me?” He spins a little, keeping his eyes on her as he continued to travel backwards to the stairs. “Nooo. Never,” he draws it out, the sarcasm a little thick. Shepard rolls her eyes at him, but he sees the little smile at the corner of her lips too.

James has always had that effect on her. No matter what dumb thing came out of his mouth, he managed to make her smile. It was something she’d craved over the last few months more than ever. While everyone else gave her pep talks that only managed to remind her how much the galaxy rested on her shoulders, James was more likely to tell her that her pants hugged her curves just right. He let her forget about being Commander Shepard even if for just a few moments.

He whistles as he approaches her side, looking out over the balcony with her.

“Nice view. But this place?” He shakes his head just slightly. “It’s just so... not what I’m used to.” He gives a small shrug, still looking out over the scenery and the lights outside the large windows.

“Which is?” Shepard prods. They don't talk about their pasts very often. Everyone already knew hers and James was never extremely open about his own. He puts his hands on the railing and leans into his arms a little.

“I grew up on the beach in the Pacific,” he shares. “So, you know; water, sand, real air.” She thinks there’s a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“You miss it?” He doesn’t look at her this time and instead she watches as he loosens his grip on the rail a little bit and sighs.

“Yeah. And the people.” She catches the undertone, the longing that implies he’s thinking of someone specific when he says it.

“So, what’s her name?” she asks. She means it to be teasing, but there’s an unexpected pang in her gut that feels all too much like jealousy for her liking and it ruins the lighthearted joke in her voice. She shifts her weight a little and slips a hand into the pocket of her pants.

“No! No.” he clarifies through a bark of a laugh, easing her tension a little. “I stopped... fraternizing when I joined the military. The two don’t seem to go well together.”

“Hasn’t stopped you from being a shameless flirt.” It had taken a short amount of time after they’d first met on Earth for him to relax around her and once he did, the comments, the winks, the innuendos and double entendres never ceased. The only thing he never seemed to do, was be physical with his flirting. He’d never so much as run a hand down her arm or let his hands linger when they sparred. Though Shepard had found herself wishing he would recently.

“Yeah, well... that’s just my way. I don’t mean anything by it.” There’s something in the way that he still won’t look at her that makes her think maybe that’s not all true.

“Too bad.” She drops her tone a little and takes a step towards him. “I wasn’t complaining.” He cracks a smile and lets out another short laugh.

“Who’s the shameless flirt now?” He gives her a single glance and then looks back down to his hands on the railing.

“So you can give it, but you can’t take it?” The flirting had never been completely one sided, but it certainly came heavier from him and it wasn’t uncommon for him to get a little flustered when she returned it.

“No, it’s just...” He releases the railing and pushes away, adding a little distance between the two. “You’re my commander, por dios. I can never tell if you’re yanking my chain.” He looks at her, really looks at her this time and the mood shifts. The air gets thicker, heavier and it feels like an opportunity, one she doesn’t want to slip away again.

“And what if I’m not?” she asks, voice dipping down again. “Not just yanking your chain?” James swallows thickly and there’s a mumble of a noise from his lips, but he doesn’t give a response. Instead, she’s pleased to watch as his eyes travel down from her eyes to her lips, down her neck and through the valley between her breasts that he can see all too well in her black tank top. “Are you going to tell me you’ve never thought about it?”

“Uhhh… I mean you’re one hell of a woman and I’m still just flesh and blood, if you know what I mean.” She can see a bit of redness creep up his neck and Shepard wonders if the implication is just that his body reacts to her or if he’s actually done something about it when his body reacts.

“So am I, James. And you are one hell of a man yourself.” She slips in front of him, putting herself between himself and the railing, all but begging him to pin her there. He makes no move to do so however. Instead, his eyes drop down to their feet and Shepard feels like she’s sinking. “But you’re not interested.” She leans back into the railing, wanting to retreat. James snaps his eyes back to hers and his mouth flops for a few moments as if he’s going to say something, but after a minute of silence, Shepard gives up. She slinks away off to the side and as far away as she can get without feeling too awkward. “Well, now that you’ve shot me down, was there anything else you came here to talk about?”

“Uhhh, yeah,” he stutters, shaking his head. She feels a little bad to have put him on the spot, but she’s just as embarrassed as he is. “I wanted to show you something.”

He turns away from her and pulls his shirt over his head. It takes Shepard longer than she should admit to notice he’s not just showing off the well-toned muscles in his back and shoulders, but trying to show her the new and finished N7 tattoo. He looks at her over his shoulder.

“What do you think?”

“Looks good,” she says honestly. “You’ve earned it.” She sees him smile a little at her approval. She crosses her arms over her chest and tries to lighten her tone. “Though I think it’s a little mean to flaunt yourself to the woman you just turned down.” He chuckles, taking her teasing easily.

“Here I was thought I was being nice giving you at least a little something,” he jokes back before turning to face her, shirt still in his hand. “Thought you liked the show.” She rolls her eyes, but even after him turning her down, the flirting still makes her feel better. “Anyways... Just wanted to show you that bad boy.” He slips his shirt back over his head and she resists the small urge to tell him to keep it off. “I gotta get back to the Normandy,” he says. “Esteban wants my help working on the shuttle.” Shepard shuffles her feet for a moment and then sticks out her hand towards him.

“Thanks for coming by, James.” She uses a formal voice, hoping the gesture and tone will clearly communicate a no hard feelings vibe. He reaches out and takes her hand. The handshake lasts for less than a second before he brings her hand up into a fist grab and pulls her closer. He locks her eyes with his and that tension rises again.

“Lola,” he whispers. “I’m not not interested.” She loosens her grip in his, going from firm comradery to something softer. “It’s just that… you’re Commander Shepard, you know?” He watches her shoulders fall and he knows instantly it was the wrong thing to say.

“I get it, James,” she says, attempting to hide her dejection. It’s the title, the legend that again stands in her way from being a regular woman. So much for him being the person who makes her forget it all. “Don’t worry about it.” She withdraws from him quickly and a little more coldly than she intended. He again opens his mouth, but doesn’t form words. “I’ll see you later,” she dismisses him and he nods. He moves to leave before trying once more to end on a friendly note.

“This is gonna be a perfect place for a fiesta.”

~~~

For a guy who all but told her no, James is sure as shit staring at her an awful lot like he wants to rip her clothes off.

“Is constant staring customary to the human mating ritual?” Garrus teases him as he pours drinks on the other side of the bar. “Because if so, you’re doing a damn good job, Jimmy.” James grimaces and throws a peanut shell at the Turian.

“Shut it, Scars.”

“He’s still convinced regs are a problem to worry about,” Steve chimes in, clapping his friend on the shoulder.

“Regs? Really?” Garrus asks. “You realize breaking regulations is pretty much Shepard’s specialty, right?” He slides the drink towards James who just shakes his head at it and passes it to Steve. “And even if it wasn’t, we’re quite possibly facing the end of the galaxy here. Who’s kissing who isn’t something anyone’s worried about, even the brass.” James mumbles something and picks at the label on his nearly full beer bottle.

He can barely see Shepard at the kitchen entrance from his spot at the end of the bar and every time she moves, his neck cranes to follow her. He’d either purposely or accidentally kept her in view all night and has spent the better part of it kicking himself for not just throwing her against a wall earlier that day.

She catches his eye and he instantly looks away, back to his bottle. She chose to wear a dress of all things tonight. A god damned dress. A little black number that fit her better than it had any right to. The woman was trying to kill him.

“Boys,” he hears her greet them casually, having approached them at the bar while he was attempting to ignore her. “How are things going?” James doesn’t hear their response. He’s too preoccupied trying to keep his eyes off of her chest as she leans her hip against the edge of the bar. “You seem quiet, Vega,” she comments.

“Just enjoying the party.” He shrugs and takes a drink of his beer, thinking about how he could kill Garrus and Steve for the look they shoot each other.

“Steve,” Garrus interrupts. “Let me show you that data pad I mentioned earlier.” Garrus had, of course, mentioned no such data pad in their prior conversations, but Steve agreed eagerly and James really thought about strangling at least one of them when they left him alone with Shepard.

“We good?” she asks him so casually that he almost feels bad.

“Yeah, why?” He takes another drink of his beer and it quickly turns into a large gulp.

“You seem to be avoiding me,” She squints and forces a smile. “And also staring, which is odd. Just want to make sure we’re good.” She takes a sip of her own drink and shifts her eyes to the Turian alcohol bottle, investigating it curiously.

James chews on his tongue for a moment. She wants them to be good. Good means normal. Normal would mean telling her those squats she’s been doing have done wonders for her ass and that was dangerous tonight.

“It help if I tell you that you look damn fine in that dress?” He never was too good at avoiding danger.

“Maybe,” She shrugs and leans forward towards him just a little. “Probably help a little more if you called me Lola.” Damn if her voice didn’t sound husky and smooth. Despite his better judgement, he followed her lead and leaned in as well, lowering his voice if nothing more than to make sure eavesdroppers wouldn’t hear.

“Well, that dress is definitely giving me ideas… Lola.” A smile breaks on her lips and he’s not entirely sure, but he thinks he sees her shiver just the slightest. He takes another long drink, but this time doesn’t take his eyes off her.

“You going to keep a girl guessing or are you going to share with the class?” She takes a step forward, getting close enough for him to notices she actually put on a light layer of perfume too. He chuckles, but curses internally.

“You’re making it real hard to remember why this is a bad idea,” he warns.

He starts listing the reasons in his head. Fraternization regs. She’s his commander. She’s fucking Commander Shepard and he’s just a nobody lieutenant who makes a shitty leader. She’s probably looking for some kind of easy fling. Distracting her like that would be selfish. It’d look bad. The rest of the crew might start to question her judgement. The list goes on and on.

“I never pegged you to be a guy who runs hot and cold,” she says, breaking his train of thought. “And yet today you’ve given more mixed signals than a broken comm transmission.”

“Sorry, Lola.” And he is, honestly. He’s a tangled-up mess of thoughts and emotions and even the little bit of alcohol he’s consumed tonight is making him think with his dick first.

“Want me to put on a wig? Change my name? Maybe lay on an accent?” He can tell by the wiggle in her eyebrows as much as the suggestion itself that she’s had a little too much to drink, but it twists his stomach in a bad way all the same. “I don’t have to be Commander Shepard for a night.” And now he feels guilty, so much so that his neck and his face turn red and he looks down again, embarrassed at himself. She gives a quick pat to his forearm. “Come find me if you change your mind.”

She grabs her drink and leaves to mingle with her other guests, leaving him alone to feel like an asshole. He could never find the right thing to say around Shepard. Not when it came to this. He wanted her and lately he had to admit it was more than just a sexual attraction. He wanted more than that, but the idea of being selfish enough to pursue Commander Shepard was intimidating. Maybe, he admits, he needs to stop separating her and realize that Commander Shepard and his Lola are one and the same. Maybe then he can stop being a dick.

“Fucking pendejo,” he whispers to himself before swiping up that Turian bottle.

~~~

She can feel the headache before she even opens her eyes. Had she really drank much last night? No, she’s sure she didn’t. She even remembers everything, including climbing into her bed after barely having the energy to change clothes.

She throws on her N7 sweatshirt and slowly treks her way to the kitchen, making sure to note all the remnants of the party, including some of her friends scattered amongst the apartment. It makes her smile.

She smells bacon as she rounds the corner and sees James at the stove already in the full throws of making breakfast. He beams a smile at her when he sees her in the doorway and flips the pan a little.

“Lola!” he greets. “Eggs?”

“You’re awful cheery,” she comments dryly, and a little bitterly, as she steps further into the kitchen. She rounds the island the stove is on and snags a piece of bacon from the plate there.

“Been a while since you knocked that many back?” he teases, watching the way her eyes squint uncomfortably. “Breakfast will help.” He shovels some of the fresh eggs onto a plate and passes it her way. She takes them gratefully and reaches for the salt. James’ hand wraps around her wrist, stopping her reach. “You really gonna do me like that?” he scolds playfully. “Add salt before you even try them? That’s my abuela’s recipe. It doesn't need more salt.” She cracks a smile, but doesn’t move her hand away just yet, the warmth of his hand feeling too comforting to pull away from. There’s a gentle swipe of his thumb over her pulse before he lets go on his own. He empties the rest of the eggs on a communal plate before clearing his throat. “Hey, let me know when you have some time,” he says. It sounds surprisingly awkward. “I’ve got something I want to talk to you about.”

~~~

Never being one to put things off, Shepard returned to her room as soon as she’d finished eating and made the rounds to make sure everyone was awake or, at the very least, breathing.

I’m in my room. Got some time. She sends the message before even making it through the door. It doesn't take more than a few seconds for him to respond.

Be up in a minute.

She makes herself busy with her omni-tool while she waits. She feels a bit like a fool, practically throwing herself at him a second time only to be left alone again last night. She wouldn’t blame him if he came to talk to her about how uncomfortable she had made him.

She’s left the door open for him, but he still gives it a gentle knock to get her attention when he arrives.

“Nice room,” he comments, sticking his head over the threshold and looking around. “Bit different than the Normandy. Less fish.” He cracks a smile at her and the simple gesture puts her at ease a little. He can’t be pissed at her if he’s still making jokes, right?

“You’re just jealous you don’t have fish in your room.” She isn’t about to admit that she actually misses the blue glow and gentle whir of the filter when she falls asleep. Not right now at least.

“Yeah, well, maybe we should trade rooms sometime.”

Or maybe we could share mine. Shepard physically bites her tongue to stop herself from saying it aloud. Still unsure of exactly where they stand and just how awkward she made things for him, it is not the time to let the flirtations rise up that quickly.

He takes her brief silence to enter the room and close the door behind him. That makes her a little nervous, but not nearly as much as when he says, “So... we should talk about last night.”

“I owe you an apology, Lieutenant,” she says instantly, nearly cutting him off. The way she snaps back to professionalism with a straight back, pushed down shoulders, and a commanding tone makes him pause for a moment, his eyes widening just a fraction. “I was inappropriate with you and should not have taken advantage of my rank.” It takes an extra moment for her apology to sink in and his brow furrows as he sorts it through his brain.

“What? No!” he huffs and takes two large, hurried steps her way. She must not have held her surprise well enough because he suddenly stops again. “Lola,” he sighs. “I didn’t come here to... register a complaint.” His face crunches up as though he doesn’t like the way the word taste. “I came to apologize to you,” he says firmly. “And hopefully not fuck up my words this time.”

The intensity in his eyes and the way he’s not shying away from her makes Shepard feel like she’s a young girl again. Any and all experience she has with men and relationships seems to just melt away and suddenly she’s got butterflies and a blush. There’s a nervous heat in her stomach that makes it hard to regain her composure.

“Okay,” she says slowly, not completely sure of where he’s going, but hoping to every God in the galaxy that he’s not turning her down again.

“I can’t hook up with you.” The butterflies die and the excited heat turns to an anger.

“I promise you don’t have to reject me again for me to understand.” She says it harshly, bitterly even. She barely manages to contain throwing her arms in the air when she turns away from him, moving towards the desk in the corner as if she has something better to do. She hears him mutter under his breath and while her Spanish is terrible, the inflection makes it sound like a string of curses.

“Shepard!” He follows her footsteps and when she spins to sit in the desk chair, his arm is extended as though he reached out for her just a moment too late. “I can’t hook up with you,” he emphasizes. “I can’t do just one night and that’s what would have happened last night. Would have been a drunken hook up that one of us or both of us would have brushed off in the morning. I don’t want that.” Her anger starts to dissolve and her spine loses some of its rigidness as she slinks back into her chair.

“What do you want then?” she asks, voice softer and quieter now. She’s afraid of the answer. He chews on his tongue and grinds his jaw and she wonders if maybe he’s afraid too.

“You,” he finally says.

“You sure about that?” She can’t help but scoff. “I am Commander Shepard, after all.”

“Yeah, you are.” His sigh this time seems more like a pained groan. Shepard watches carefully as he turns and sits himself on her unmade bed. “Which is why it feels completely selfish and impossible to ask you to commit to anything more, let alone to an insignificant lieutenant like me.”

“Commit?” She suddenly feels lighter again.

“When I go for something, I go all in,” he tells her. “That would include you...this...us.” He waves his hand out awkwardly and avoids her eyes as though he’s nervous. She bites down on her lip to swallow down the smile. She knows it’s not exactly fair to enjoy his nervousness, but at least it’s not just her. She slowly pushes herself up from her chair.

“You’re not insignificant,” she assures him.

“I’m not some hero of the galaxy,” he admits. He doesn’t say it with a self-conscious, but rather states it just as a simple fact. “I haven’t been with you since the beginning like most of these guys.”

“You know that’s one of the things I like about you James?” He looks up at her curiously. “Sure, you’ve heard the stories, but we didn't meet on the ship in the midst of wars. We met on Earth.” She rounds the desk slowly, walking closer to where he sits still using caution in case he backs out. “You didn’t just get to know Commander Shepard. You got to know Jane, to know me. You treat me like I’m human.”

“You are human, Lola.” He’s not looking away from her now and it gives her a little burst of confidence.

“Yeah. What was it you said? Just flesh and blood?” There’s a tease of a smirk on her lips as she comes to stand in front of him, legs stopping just short of slipping between the gap of his spread knees. He chuckles and the weight of everything starts to lift.

“You sure about this, Lola?” He reaches out and curls his hand around her hip. It's the first time he’s ever really touched her and it makes her heart skip just a little. She leans into his touch, pushing her hip into his palm and leans forward to put her hands on his shoulders. He feels solid beneath her and she can’t resist the need to squeeze just a little, to feel the muscles at the end of her fingers.

“I’ve thought about it in great detail.” He cocks an eyebrow at her and tugs her in-between his legs. He watches her with an unbridled desire in his eyes and for the first time in a long time, she feels real excitement. She traces one hand up the side of his neck so she can run his fingers along his jaw. “That party shouldn’t be the last bit of happiness we get to indulge in.”

He moves quickly; his hand on the back of her neck before she knew he moved it, using barely any strength to pull her down to him. She follows him easily, all too eager to kiss him heatedly. Months of suppressed desires pour out into each other and for the first few moments, they merely hold onto each other and soak in the relief of letting go. And then James’ hands start moving, pulling her closer and sliding over the curve of her ass. Shepard is compliant and carefully climbs into his lap, one knee on either side of his hips on her bed. He bites gently at her bottom lip before using a hand on her jaw to tilt her head back, allowing him to kiss down her neck.

Eyes closed and succumbing to the pleasure he’s offering, Shepard is unprepared for when James moves again. He rolls to the side and pushes her onto her back on the bed. She lets out an actual squeak of surprise and James chuckles, still pressing kisses to her skin. With her legs still around his waist, his hips grind almost unconsciously and she doesn’t hold back her moan.

James peels himself away from her slowly, leaving a cold trail of air where his body had been on top of her. She opens her eyes and glares at him, but the smirk still on his face and the bulge she manages to catch a glimpse of through his pants, make sure no fear of rejection rises back in her.

“And where are you going?” she asks, attempting and failing to use her Commander tone. She tries again after clearing her throat and pushing herself up on her elbows. “You’re not leaving this room for a while.” James laughs and flashes her a smile as he keeps walking to the door.

“Is that an order?” he teases, pressing the lock for the door and waiting until it flashes red before turning back to her.

“You bet your ass it is.” She smiles back at him. She could have locked the door from right here with her omni-tool and he knew it. He was just being a teasing bastard. “You’re not leaving her until I say so.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he laughs again before coming back to her.

[fortheloveoffanfic]

One More Weekend With You

Keanu Reeves x Reader (A/n-Was gonna post another one from this set of fics, but this was oh so conveniently edited and forgotten in my drafts)

Summary- Inspired by Tis The Damn Season of the Evermore album

Masterlist 

Warnings- Angst  

It was hard to tell, it had been so long and maybe he'd cut his hair and started wearing his beard lower. Maybe he'd changed the way he dressed- no, not really. Did he always keep his hand in his pocket when he walked? He did, it was definitely him, and there wasn't a chance that her heart was going to let her avoid him. He still had a place there after all. 

Rubbing the cool metal of the key between her fingers, Y/n inhaled deeply, trying to brush off her nerves before making her way through the department store to where Keanu stood. "Ke?" 

And of course, he'd know her voice anywhere. So instead of just turning to see who it was, Keanu smiled despite the wave of pain that usually accompanied the thought of Y/n. Even if their end had been bittersweet, she was still his 'one.' One true love. One person he wanted to see after a bad day. One voice he wanted to hear when he picked up the phone. "Y/n?" He tilted his head, temporarily abandoning the shelves lined with glassware he was looking at, to hug her quickly. It was short, though, not short enough for it to mean nothing. "You're back”.”

"I'm back," she nodded with a soft huff, righting herself and pulling away from their awkward embrace. He’d felt different and the same; like returning to an old playground and realizing that the magic had gone from childish wonder to aching nostalgia. "Just for the holidays though, after New Years its……"

"Back," he determined as his face fell. Why'd he even let himself think she'd come back for good. Out there was her dream…..L.A…..was just him. And he wasn't enough. "Uh…how-how are your folks? I saw them a couple months ago, they were grocery shopping, but I was in such a hurry, I didn't really get a minute to catch up." What he really meant was that he didn't want to see the look on their faces when they had to stand in conversation with the son-in-law they never had and worst yet, he didn't want them to talk about her, so he could hear how well she was doing without him. 

“They’re good. What about your family?” As she spoke, Y/n tried to fight the twinge of regret that accompanied Keanu’s presence. Regret because every time they spoke, the dormant love for him was always reawakened. He told her, a long time ago, that once you started loving someone, if it was real, then it would never go away. And she had learned that he was right the hard way. 

Nodding absently, he stuffed his hands into his pockets again, just to occupy them, “They’re good….” they still ask about you. He inhaled softly, not knowing what to say next. It was uncomfortable, before, just a few years ago, Keanu always knew what to say to her, because he could say anything to her. “So how have you been? How’s work? The job?” The job that you left me for.

“I’ve been okay,” Y/n shrugged, trying to muster up a smile, only just realizing that she wasn’t half as happy as she’d been when they were together. “And work’s……its good, the job’s….” not everything it was cracked up to be, especially since it took me away from you, “Its amazing, still can't believe I got it. What about you?��� She stuttered, moistening her lips. 

Keanu observed her curiously, noting how Y/n’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes and how she’d kept anxiously toying with her car keys. She always fiddled when she was nervous. “You sure everything’s okay, Y/n?” It was quite likely that it was no longer his place to ask, worst yet to try to fix things if something was wrong, but Keanu hated knowing that something was bothering her. 

He always knew when she was lying. “I…..” Taking a deep breath, Y/n prepared herself to lie anyway, “You know, I’m just….it’s weird to be back, its been a while.”

“Yeah okay,” it was obvious that Y/n wasn’t going to tell him what was going on, not that Keanu could blame her, they had been over for a while by then, she wasn’t obligated to tell him anything. Still, he craved her company and wasn’t willing to let their interaction on such a flustered note. “I don’t know if you have the time, but if you do, maybe we could grab coffee or something, catch up a bit.”

Staring up at him with agape lips and sad eyes, Y/n contemplated for a minute before submitting, she couldn’t imagine saying no anyway, “Sure, okay. I’d like that. The place we usually go to?” She cleared her throat, realizing her mistake as heat rose to her cheeks, “Went to.”

Grinning fondly at her comment, Keanu tried to shake off the memories that the mention of that little coffee shop brought up, they’d had some great times there. “Great,” he determined, deciding that gift shopping could be put on pause for a bit. “It’s not too far from here, we can walk if you’d like.”

“Sounds great.” As they walked, Y/n and Keanu kept a comfortable distance between them. It wasn’t much though, she could still compare his warmth to Los Angeles heat, which had toned down significantly since the start of the holiday season. For a while, the only thing traded between them was silence, though, when they got to the coffee shop, Keanu surprised her by remembering her order to the letter. “You remember,” she mused with a soft soiree, in awe of how he’d held onto the smallest shred of their past.

How was he supposed to tell her that he’d never forget? That he sometimes ordered it for himself, just so the smell could dreg up an innocent memory or two. “You ordered it every time we came here,” he shrugged, glancing away, “And we came here a lot.”

Her gaze weaved through the patrons, eventually finding a wicker table for two near the back of the establishment, with a window view. It was the perfect place for couples to get cozy without receiving judgmental glances and lingering stares. It used to be their table but that afternoon, it was occupied by two strangers who’d never know the history shared between two lovers that had let something so precious escape them. “We did,” she agreed absently, watching the pair share pecks between sips from steaming mugs. That used to be them. 

Noticing her far away look, Keanu found what she’d been looking at. The reminder that holding Y/n in his arms like that was now nothing but part of the past stung and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous of the unknown couple that sat where they once did. “Do you want to walk instead?”

Reluctantly, she nodded, “Sure, lets go.” As they left the shop, Keanu placed his hand on the center of her back in an unconscious gesture and Y/n suppressed a shudder, caught off guard by how instinctively her body had responded by leaning in before her mind could even permit it. “So,” she eased as they walked along the busy streets, shoppers and pedestrians too caught up in their own busy lives to notice that they were brushing shoulders with a celebrity. And it helped that he was wearing sunglasses. “What have you been up to?”

Shaking his shoulders, “You know,” he took a punctuating sip of his scalding coffee, thinking up ways to make his life sound more exciting than it actually was, “Work, hanging out, dating around, that kind of thing,” he offered nonchalantly, subconsciously trying to show her he’d moved on since their split. At least, he’d tried to.

At the mention of dating, Y/n almost choked on a mouthful of coffee, brashly replacing the cup at her lips with a napkin so she wouldn’t make a mess. Dating around, that wasn’t something she was expecting to hear. It was something she particularly wanted to hear either, because what was a casual mention for him brought a landslide of panic for her. Keanu was moving on and one day, he was going to find someone that would choose him in a way she hadn’t. One day he’d be someone else’s. “That’s…..uh….” exhaling loudly, she mustered up a fake smile, “That’s great! I’m….I’m happy that you’re- you’re um...that’s great Ke,” Y/n stuttered.

“Thanks, I think,” he huffed shyly, “But I’m…..I’m not seeing anyone right now.” Apparently he’d developed a habit of oversharing since he’d met with Y/n merely an hour earlier. Perhaps it was solely because telling her everything used to be habitual.

Her head snapped towards him, eyes wide and lips agape. “You’re not?” She breathed, hoping she didn’t sound too eager. When he confirmed, Y/n proceeded without thinking, “That’s great,” internally kicking herself as soon as she heard the words.

“What?” Keanu halted abruptly, only moving once more to step in front of Y/n. His brows were furrowed and he was starting to wonder if he’d heard her correctly.

“I mean….it’s….not great,” taking a deep breath, Y/n desperately sought to slow the erratic thumping in her chest, finding that the quickest remedy was meeting his whiskey orbs. “It’s….fuck,” she sighed, overwhelmed by the surge of buried feelings that had started welling up since they’d hugged. “I mean…..” Again, Y/n trailed off, at a loss for words, “It’s……”

Bringing his hand up to cup her neck, Keanu leaned down, kissing her slowly, letting instinct take over. He knew what she liked; the slow introduction of his tongue, the way it occasionally glazed over hers and a little nibble on her lower lip to keep things a bit rough. She was liking it then too, Keanu could tell by the way she’d stumbled closer, grasping a fistful of his jacket. “Is that what you were trying to say?” Keanu whispered as they broke.  

“Yeah,” a glimmer of a smile tugged at her lips as an idea brewed. “What are you doing this weekend?” She asked softly, the tips of their noses still brushing as they held each other close.

“I’m supposed to spend Christmas at my sister’s,” his words said in a tone that was meant to protect their moment, “Why?”

Dragging her lower lip through her teeth, Y/n debated on whether or not she was about to make a fool of herself. But she had to try; returning to Los Angeles had left her craving Keanu’s company and the fact that they were both single had to mean something. “Spend it with me.  We could be like this again….just for a little bit.”

“That’s not a good idea,” he resisted, not really wanting to but knowing that it might be in both their best interests if they didn’t go down that road again; she was leaving after the holidays anyway.

“I know,” Y/n sighed wearily, “But don’t you want to anyways? We could pretend that nothing’s changed,” her free arm rounded Keanu’s neck and her fingers twirled the ends of his hair. “Please, just think about it, okay?”

Conflicted and caught between wanting to be with her, if only for a bit and doing what was best for them both, Keanu took a step back, taking his hand off her and consequently urging Y/n to retract her hold on him. “You can’t come here and just expect me to go along with this.”

“I’m not expecting anything,” she argued, “You were the one that kissed me, and I’m just asking you to consider it. Don’t you miss me? Cause I miss you, Keanu.”

“I….” Mulling on her question, Keanu hit his fist to his thigh, shaking his head, “Doesn’t matter, Y/n,” turning, he walked away without saying goodbye, waving dismissively as he melded into the crowd.

Christmas Day Y/n had tried forcing herself into forgetting how things had gone down with Keanu earlier that week, when she’d asked him to spend Christmas together, the way they had when they were both convinced that they were going to be each other’s forever. But she couldn’t, he’d been on her mind constantly, and every time her phone rang, she’d snatch it up in hopes that he’d changed his mind, and every time, when it was work, or even on of her friends, Y/n felt the sting of disappointment dig at her heart. 

Five whole days had passed and she was even starting to get used to it; accepting that she had crossed a line and Keanu was right, when on Christmas day, while she was caught in conversation with her father over very strong eggnog, her mother entered the sitting room, grasping the arm of a familiar figure. Her parents had always adored him, they’d hoped she would marry him, let him be the one that fathered their grandbabies and they were so disappointed when it hadn’t worked out. “Look who’s here!” She announced, squeezing Keanu’s bicep affectionately, broad smile plastered on her face.

“Keanu, son! Look who’s here Y/n!” Her father nudged as if she hadn’t already seen him, standing giddy in the doorway, flashing the room with that movie star grin.

“Yeah dad,” she breathed, not believing her eyes. He’d actually come, even after the way things had ended a few days ago. “What…..what’re you doing here?” 

“I’m here to see you sweetheart,” Keanu beamed, slipping away from her mother, approaching Y/n and then bending to kiss the side of her lips. “I thought about what you said,” he whispered, only loud enough for her to hear, “And I miss you too,” he ended his words with another peck, easily wrapping an arm around her shoulders as her family eyed them with confusion. “Y/n invited me, and I was just wondering if that invitation is still open.”

“Of course it is!” Her mother cheered, clapping her hands excitedly, “You know we love having you here Keanu!”

“I’m glad you came,” Y/n shifted in his embrace, standing on her toes so she could peck his cheek, hugging Keanu at the waist. After that, things fell into the way they used to be; like Keanu was part of their family, and for the rest of the evening, he and Y/n had acted as if nothing had changed between them. As if they were still that couple that was so in love that it was hard to believe they’d ever break up. And it was easy to return to being those people too; within an hour together, it was easy to pretend that nothing had changed, to act as if there hadn’t been a fight a few nights before Y/n got on a plane that would whisk her out of his life or Keanu hadn’t called her a week later, drunk out of his mind only to pour his heart out and beg her to come back. It was as if a day hadn’t passed since their last good one and they were still each other’s future.

When presents and dinner was through, and after Keanu had brought a duffle bag up to Y/n’s room and the cool sun had set making way for the glowing moon, he and Y/n had slipped away from the family festivities to go on a walk around the block. They’d shrugged light coats on over their clothes and had linked arms as they strolled up the desolate street, absently staring at the homes illuminated with colorful lights and Christmas decorations. “What made you change your mind?” Y/n probed, nuzzling his arm, subconsciously hoping he wouldn’t change it again.

“I don’t think I did change it,” Keanu mused, keeping his eyes forward, “I was always gonna come. You know me; I can’t seem to stay away from you,” he gently tugged her closer. Being with her like that, it felt like right, like things were finally the way they were supposed to be, “I miss us, you know?”

“Mm hmm,” he she hummed, resting her head on her bicep, letting Keanu guide them forward with complete trust, “I miss us too. You’d like it there,” she said, referring to where she’d started building her new life,  trying to keep them from lapsing into silence.

“Yeah?” He kicked a pebble absently, wondering what it would be like if he ever did move. Could he do that? Leave his family back in L.A to be with Y/n? She was worth it, after all, she was the only woman he’d ever seen himself having a future with. “I think you’re the only person I’ve ever met that wanted to leave Los Angeles to make it big,” he changed the topic, too fearful to let the thought of leaving behind everything he’d built for himself in California cement itself. Maybe they were selfish, Keanu thought, that was why things couldn’t work out for them; cause neither of them was willing to adjust what they wanted outside of each other.

“I think you might be right,” Y/n chuckled and it wasn’t long before they'd fallen into what she’d dreaded; silence. Back at the house, she had the cover of menial chatter, but on the barren sidewalk, where there was nothing to shroud the heaviness of things that were kept guarded, it was different. The atmosphere was clumsy and she felt a way she never had around Keanu; uncomfortable.

“I’d gotten you something,” he broke the quiet, sounding unsure of himself, “Before you told me you were leaving for the job, I’d gotten you something. Well, technically, it was given to me, for you, I guess.”

Throwing him a curious glance, she urged him to slow down, “I don’t understand,” knitting her brows, Y/n silently pleaded with him to elaborate. 

“Your mom,” he explained, “She gave me your grandmother’s ring…”

“You were gonna….” Maybe if she’d known before she would have changed her mind.

“Yeah,” he sighed heavily, reminiscing on how that night had gone. How’d they texted each other excitedly on their way home, how he’d insisted she go first, only to hold himself back when she broke the news that the job might threaten to tear her away from him. Long distance wasn’t for them and Keanu knew that moving wasn’t in the cards for him. “Were you mad at me?” She probed meekly.

Huffing a dry chuckle, Keanu shook his head, “No, when I saw how your eyes lit up when you told me about it, all I wanted was for you to be happy, even if that meant it wouldn’t be here, with me.”

“I was happy with you,” they stopped, and turned to face each other, hands still tangled, and unchecked tears threatening to spill over as her voice broke, “I think I was happier with you.”

“I know,” his tone was low and husky as Keanu stepped closer, muting the few inches of space between them. She didn’t need to ask how he did and Keanu had no cause to explain; they knew each other better than most ever would; he could pick up on her faked smiles from a mile away. “Would it be wrong if I asked you to stay?”

Still trying to fight the wave of emotion, Y/n looked at their interlocked fingers, frowning at how well they worked together. No other hands would ever feel like that, and she’d long made peace with the fact. “Would it be wrong if I asked you to wait?”

Closing his eyes, he bent lower to press his forehead to hers, letting her scent tickle his senses. It was as if he was trying to freeze himself in time, so he’d be forever basking in the sweet smell of her perfume and the comfort of her touch while the warmth that radiated between them, tethering him to her was one he was sure he could never remember to its exact perfection. Why couldn’t things be easier? “I’m sorry,” he shuddered, letting his breaths be captured by her quivering lips.

“It’s my fault,” Y/n exhaled, sniffling, “But at least we have right now, right?”

Keanu hugged her low at the waist, burning his face in Y/n’s hair while she sought refuge in the crook of his neck, “Yeah,” hot tears made their slow journey down his his cheek, and he could feel moisture soaking his t shirt where Y/n had buried her face, “At least we have now.” 

Even if it would never be enough, for now, it was all they had. 

*****

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